Our Self-Destructive Ego

At times, our ego can be a very terrible thing. It can create a mental block in not allowing us to admit something is true when deep down inside we know it is. It can become a self-destructive enemy, because, sometimes, our ego doesn't want to admit failure. 

This is why it's in our nature to demand facts to prove we did or didn't fail at something. Yet, I've seen where people, including myself, have been shown facts and still go into denial. It's as if a ton of bricks have to hit us before, finally, acquiescing to the truth that we already felt.

I think this is the self-destructive path I've seen many on, who have poured their hearts out in the last presidential election. Egos who cannot or do not want to comprehend that a candidate just may have failed them, wherein creating a feeling that they failed. Like a failed relationship, we cling to our ego by repeating: It's just not possible! We argue and reason all that our ego demands. However, sooner or later, for our well-being, we have to admit that it is possible... and move on.

Today, I saw this acquiescing with my handyman husband. He had to concede that a home repair job was bigger than he could tackle by himself, without possible injury or death (picture). I could see his ego didn't want to admit failure. Thankfully, his common sense prevailed. The facts started adding up and he realized he didn't have the right tools or manpower. He knew he had to call in a professional and not be resistant to the facts.

I was very proud of him and took a well-deserved, deep breath when he decided to let go of that self-destructive ego. 

PS: This picture is a little misleading, because he's actually standing on our first story, slightly-pitched roof, looking up at the second story roof line where our aluminum fascia was blown off. 😊

Dream: Thought Seeding

I would like to share an interesting dream I had nearly thirty years ago, but first, have you ever ask yourself... who was the first who came up with that idea?

We've had many changes to many things since the beginning of time. For instance, who was the first to think same sex was okay? Who was the first to think of body piercing or tattooing. Who was the first with any particular clothing design or a weird hair style? I know we've had plenty of strange ones over history, especially in my life time. Who was the first cross-dresser or transgender? Who was the first who thought females should wear dresses and males should wear pants and then decided to reverse that idea?

Who was the first at anything, that thought it was okay to do something, and then go about convincing others it was okay, too? But... then be convinced it wasn't okay? Fads have died out. Science has intervened. Yet, we still have some who think it's important to push that extreme or cross that line. 

Have you ever wonder if earth is just one big science experiment being viewed by others under a microscope? Here's why I ask. As I said above, I had this dream, which I wrote about in my book called Eternity Proven. It was the ending question, from this man in my dream, that was thought provoking. 

In my dream, I saw the clouds parting and a weird shaped flying saucer appeared. Off to the left appeared two more. They, too, were weirdly shaped but not like the first one. Each one was different. They all landed and started walking towards my house… towards me. The people, two men and one woman, one in each ship, were wearing "punk" style clothing and spiked hair. The bigger man walked around grumbling, as the woman sewed clips to my head, with ribbons. She was telling me how pretty I looked and that no one would laugh at my hair now. I turned around looking at everyone. The smaller man sat quietly; never said a word. The woman was childlike. The bigger man looked at me and said, "You think we cannot seed your thoughts from where we live?" I woke up thinking… why not? Isn't that how we get these ideas of ours; from someone seeding our thoughts? Are we ever to know if someone "out there" is having "fun" with us?

Now, maybe you too will ask: who was the first who came up with that idea? And, even a better question: why?

Mental Illness

Mental = relating to the mind.
Illness = mind or body ailment.

When people hear the words mental illness, they often think of the extreme versions. Today, most adults know there are spectrums to mental illness. I've written about some causes, because of my education, and I realize there are some who may never be healed because of brain damage.

However, the mental illness I wish to discuss is the one that can cause this feeling of dis-ease. The feeling of hopelessness, that we see in many young people today. As well as a separation from reality, possibly due to drugs, bullying, taking a wrong path, or a dealing with a hurtful childhood... among other things that can cause someone to lose control and do harmful things to themselves or others. I relate it to someone drowning in their emotions... lost souls.

I want to share some things I've experienced with helping others. Unless someone has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness, or brain damage, most can be helped with love, compassion, patience and fortitude. They're often desperate.  They want help. They want answers. They want hope. They want change. Most are impatient with all of what they want.

Well, I've learned that I have helped in those areas. I offered help and hope with answers to their questions. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've done this throughout my life. I was once called a comforter, but my "tough love - no nonsense approach" is what I think they really appreciate. They need that reality to help ground them. They need that person who becomes a sound-minded lifesaver to prevent their emotional drowning. They don't like hearing they're often their real enemy... until they get it. Then the light of truth illuminates the darkness in their mind.

Over the years, I've also learned that many want a person in their life they feel they never had. Sometimes, they just need a shoulder to cry on or a person who will listen. What I see, in our troubled and hateful world, is often quite the opposite. There are countless emails and personal messages that I've received that will attest to this. People who I've offered support whenever needed. Young people who were suicidal and now living a mentally healthy life... because someone cared. Someone who showed them that life can and will get better. Someone who saw their "mental illness" and showed them a better path. Someone they believed in until they began to believe in themselves.

That's the mental illness I'm seeing in many of these troubled souls who are committing acts of violence. I know we aren't their saviour, they have to open the door to save themselves. I'm just hoping people will start seeing this too and start putting out the effort to show them the door that they can open. It can be done behind the safety of the internet, if one is unsure of the person, or reach out within your community. Whichever way feels the most comfortable. Either way, it's not just up to the government... it's up to humanity.

Tough Love

My friend, Janelle, allowed me to share her beautifully stated words a year ago on Facebook. As I was reading them again, I decide to blog what she shared because I agree, completely, and thought others might be helped by them. 

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Forgiveness is for the person who was wronged, not for he who has wronged.

It is a peace of mind and heart for the person who has been harmed. So it is important to love and to forgive and it is important to also never forget.

Ever hear the saying "fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me"?

Forgetting means that we may suffer the same pain and lesson over and over until we remove the thing, person, or situation that keeps us falling into the same pattern.

This is harmful and unecessary.

Ask yourself "When am I going to learn"?

No amount of love for someone should keep you in an abusive or toxic relationship. Forgetting that toxicity will hurt you permanently or worse.

I've met too many people who've wanted to end their life because they wanted to change someone or make it work with family, a friend, a boyfriend, or even with alcohol and drugs.

Life can never be trouble free. Problems make us stronger, if they don't kill us. But many problems, you choose to allow in your life.

Honor the boundaries you set.
Honor your goals.
Honor those who honor you (but don't excuse abuse).
Love and honor yourself.

It's tough love time for the collective forces who wouldn't want to be treated the way they treat you.

Depression: Is Suicide Really An Option?

Some may say that suicide is an option, when it comes to the darkness of depression, but I say it won't serve any purposeful good when you realize life goes on... eternally. In over 300 soul beginning videos, which I did on my Atomarane You Tube Channel, I started seeing a pattern of "learning life's lessons" and what we tend to avoid may keep returning until we understand it fully.

Why? Because we're trying to escape the emotions in our soul. How does one escape their emotions when we take them with us? Think about this: we pick up where we left off, even in another dimension or life; we are still who we are. Even in a different life, a soul is programmed... with one's emotions.

Ask yourself: what lesson was I here to learn and I'm trying to avoid? Better yet: what lesson am I here to teach and I'm trying to avoid?

Also, think about the times that were good when having depressive thoughts. Happy thoughts/emotions are to help ground us. I like using cartoons. Hey, whatever works! After all, life is a roller coaster of emotions and we know there will be good and bad times. Call back the good to help get you through the bad. It's called perspective. It's called salvation. It's called giving ourselves another chance of making it right within us.

Another thing one can do is meditate and think about where these thoughts/emotions are coming from. If there isn't anything one can, currently, do to change them, let them go. We can't change the world, or others, but we can change ourselves and that may take time. We need to give ourselves that time.

Like a sailboat when it loses the wind in its sails, we must change the sails' direction in order to keep going.

Be a survivor and not a victim.

Destruction: Nature and Humanity

I often wonder why some people, living in developed countries, feel the need to imitate destructive nature? In this "age of enlightenment," why does humanity need violence to change anything? After all, did this mentality work for past dictators? Evil rulers? The Mafia? Gangs? Eventually, their violent and destructive measures were overthrown, even if something similar was often used to stop it. 

Over time, we began to learn that we can make changes in the world in more constructive ways. For instance, by not spending our money on what we oppose. Obviously, there are some who didn't get that history lesson and think it's still okay to use threats, violence and destruction to get their way. 

I couldn't understand this violent mentality, that we still see today, until I realized the various amounts of media that perpetuates it. The gateway drug into real life violence. Has this created a new mental illness, which has some thinking that violence is only a fantasy that won't destroy them... invincible movie or video game warriors? Or, maybe they cannot live up to their fantasy standards and develop an intense hate of themselves, which is released only by projecting it onto others?

Either way, they still haven't learned that hate only perpetuates more hate. Either way, they may rebuke love because it's foreign to them. Either way, these soulless beings may not have salvation, because they're blind to what others know about peaceful solutions. Their hate shuts them down.

Obviously, these violent personalities may never go away, yet it's best to be mindful of them though. If not, you may get caught up in their frenzy... sucking you into their destruction... like objects in a tornado.

Conspiracy Theories: Unhealthy Obsession

A friend was discussing some people who become so obsessed/possessed in their conspiracy theories that they lose all sense of reasoning. I had mentioned that I had helped a few out of that unhealthy abyss but some, sadly, chose to stay.

Another friend made a comment that I wish to share, because I completely agree with it: "Yes, there can be a fine line between healthy analysis where you use it to benefit yourself and others, and unhealthy analysis where you are looking for the negative all the time and use it to criticise yourself and others in non-constructive ways. The shadow of a naturally analytic personality is to become obesssed with unhealthy mental toxins that undermine your wellbeing, and that leads to paranoia and vulnerability to darker energies. Healthy analysis on the other hand finds positive solutions and a balanced view of life. You can still experience difficulties, but these do not define you or prevent you from striving for the next goal. You use them for guidance instead."

Anything we become involved in, we must be mindful of crossing the line that could lead to an unhealthy obsessed/possessed mind. Conspiracy theories is only one area. Even science theories can lead to an unheathy attachment. People forget it's only a theory until proven but some become dogmatic.

Even with all my training, I am still ever mindful of becoming entrapped. I've learned to protect myself with having a somewhat diverse life that's filled with supportive family and friends as a check and balance system. We don't have to go along with another's beliefs, but it helps to be able to logically and reasonably discuss things to keep us from sinking into that dark abyss. Believe it or not, an occasional naysayer often helps to keep us balanced.

As the saying goes: life's too short to be miserable. It's important to prevent conspiracy theories becoming an unheathy obsession. However, as I mentioned above, I've also learned that some may choose the abyss. We don't save people - they save themselves. As a student once told me: You can tell someone that the fire may burn but they may still stick their hand in it.

President Trump Dream

I had an interesting dream about President Trump this morning. I was at the White House and there were a few people scattered about in front of him as he was talking. I was standing further back, with a bunch of other people, behind a small barrier. Suddenly, he stopped talking and told all the people who were standing in front of the barrier that they had to move on. They had enough time up front. He moved away from the podium and started, nicely, escorting them off to one side. Then he walked up to me and took my hand and gave it a little yank, telling me to get up closer. He walked over to some others doing the same thing. After that, I remember leaving the White House with a few miner odds and ends occurring. As I was leaving, I told someone that I had read that God chooses all our Presidents. He must have a greater understanding in why President Trump was chosen.

Later, after awakening and having time to think about this, I felt the dream was telling me he's "draining the swamp" of people who's been up front for too long. He was moving them away and new ones up front. Understandable. I certainly would prefer caring people in my circle: encouraging me - not belittling me. Anyone who's been on social media knows the feeling of false friends.

As far as God choosing him, I think it's all part of an important and necessary universal check and balance. Kind of like when a kid gets away with too much from mom, when dad's been away, and dad comes home and breaks bad. Yep, been there. Navy dad and all. Did I like it? Nope. Did it kill me? Nope. I learned to adjust. I learned that I can't always have things my way. Since my youth, I've also learned that the Universe will swing the pendulum the other way when our egos need adjusting.

Take a Bite

I've always been a people watcher. Years ago, I used to enjoy listening to the Hollywood stars on talk shows. That is, until I started noticing how some were becoming the depraved, demented, often violent, vile and vulgar characters they had started playing. As if they couldn't turn the switch off from the fantasy characters they played or they had started enjoying that life more.

Furthermore, similar to the Wicked Queen trying to entice Snow White with the poison apple, I started noticing how they too were cunningly inviting others to take a bite - not necessary to die but to join them in their moral corruption.

But hey, if you do die, that's not their problem, because sincerely caring about another's opinion, or life, wasn't really part of their fantasy. Just bite the apple and give me your money.

Yet, some people thrive on their every word as if they believe these people are wiser - the epitome of perfection - and not just, occasionally, entertaining.

Please be careful about giving your power away or jumping on another's bandwagon. Some may have hidden agendas and only want you to "take a bite"... in order to appease their fantasy... in order to drag you down to their level. 

Science: Human Errors and Flaws

Alexander Pope said, "To err is human." I agree, not everything humans do will be one hundred percent perfect. Yet, if we don't try to improve, even with ocassional errors, how do we grow or better our lives? 

I wouldn't be the kind to jump out of planes or fly to the moon. I wouldn't want to be someone who braves the elements and climbs mountains, dives into deep oceans, or crosses hot deserts. Nope! Yet, there are those adventurers who will and have, which has aided in bettering other's lives by allowing themselves to be human guinea pigs - often via their errors. 

I feel it's the same with science. There will be those who make mistakes because they do everything they can to find a cure, for instance, before it's, eventually, approved for humans. Even then we can have flaws. 

However, we are human beings and we've learned to put on our grownup pants and suck it up; many times and for many reasons. Hopefully, in the name of advancing mind and body. Goals. 

Which is why, it would be rare for anyone to fall under the "mad scientist" category today. Mad? Possibly angry instead, because they're trying to improve the lives of many but will still be up against flaws in the system. 

Flaws only due to no two living things being alike. Flaws because we want to fix things and we don't often have the time or money. Flaws because of humanity's big egos. But if we give up then what? What's the lessor of two evils? What would have happened if we all feared living and exploring? We may still be neanderthals.

No, I wouldn't want someone to deliberately poison me with scientific experiments. However, I don't want to die of any plight on animal or plant life either, which may, eventually, lead to their extinction, as well as ours. 

Everything has to be weighed. There has to be a check and balance. Those who yell foul, even when they don't know the truth, can still serve a purpose. They, hopefully, keep people from becoming complacent or keep them motivated towards any higher purpose.

Higher purpose? Absolutely! We all should understand any higher purpose perspective but most don't. But then, we're all on our paths for a reason: you, me and even scientists. We must continue to keep them on their toes, with honesty and integrity, but not to the point of cutting off our nose to spite our face. 

Furthermore, just because we call foul on any new scientific studies today, maybe for lack of awareness or out of fear, we have to keep revisiting any situation to see if anything has changed, or if it, actually, needed change. We become part of the problem if we don't. Number one rule that I've learned: don't assume - ever.

By the way, regarding neanderthals, nature has designed us to acclimatize to many things in life or we would still look like that. I'm sure we will continue to change. In fact, who's to say that over many, many years, we may only be one race of people, because of breeding or through any subconscience-driven science experiments for survival. We may look nothing like we do today. Think about it.

For instance, many look at Neanderthals and think: Thank goodness, we're not like that anymore! However, our future selves may be looking back on us and feeling the same way. Did a flaw in humanity or a science error create our past? Will it do the same for our future selves? I wonder.