Controlling Manipulating Children

Young parents are finding out how their manipulating childhood days are coming back to haunt them. They are seeing their children doing the same ... creating a frustrated and, sometimes, victimized parent.

 

Don't become a victim because of your children.

 

The majority of children are smarter than you think. Diagnoses of a child's mental or physical ailments can be used against you. They can use guilt and love against you. They can find your weakness and play on them. Divorce or parental arguments can be used against you. Even screaming in public places to embarrass you. All of these things are a power control. 

 

I've even been feeling, through observation, that "sensitive children" are sensing parent's weaknesses faster.

 

I'm not saying all, but a great majority of them start learning rather fast how to manipulate their parents and peers. They have even been known to discuss this among friends at an early age ... including using meltdowns.

 

Yes, kids talk about this stuff.

 

Are you hurting from their behavior?

 

Are you giving them the sword?

 

I have watched this in many children over many years, including my siblings and my children. I have been guilty of the same in my younger years. I speak from many years of wisdom based on personal observation. Too many permissions, given to any child to keep them from bothering you, illicit future headaches and heartaches. Once they see they can get away with something, they will wear you down with it ... over and over again.

 

Wear ... you ... down!!

 

Give them an inch and they'll take a mile.

 

When they become hormonal teens, all hell breaks loose and you'll be wondering who allowed this monster into your home.

 

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule. However, you can Internet search it to see that it's nothing new. The good thing is, parents can retaliate and not reward bad behavior. Tough love doesn't mean beating your child senseless but strong, loving, and meaningful discipline.

 

They will get over it ... seriously.

 

Besides when or where did parents' manipulating skills begin? We learned them as a child. Remember? Did you forget how to use them? Use rules to get what you want. So when those teen years arrive, hopefully, you'll be on equal footing. If you wait until then, to establish rules, it's too late. As my mother often reminded me: discipline starts in the cradle.

 

It's time to break the cycle ... the parent curse!

Teenagers! Beware of the Parent's Curse! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3Xci-hygC0

Don't ever give up. There are answers for everything but you may not be asking the right questions to the right people.

This is a good website to read for empowering parents: Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You With Behavior http://www.empoweringparents.com/Manipulative-Child-Behavior-How-Kids-Control-You-With-Behavior.php#ixzz33FVSE1SL

 

Or ... you may not have learned what I learned from my dad ... the parental stare to instill fear (picture). Just a little levity to help you smile. We all need that. ;-)

 

I Wanted To!

There many reasons or excuses why anyone does or says anything but when it comes right down to it, it's done or said only because someone wanted to.

We can regurgitate a gazillion reasons or excuses, but the day of liberation is when one simply says: I wanted to!

Try it sometime. I wanted to!

In fact, remember this when you ask someone who did or said something and you start listening to reasons or excuses.

They wanted to!

My Brief Thoughts on Elliot Rodgers

Well, I've been busy and haven't investigated Elliot Rodgers, but today I read some things that already confirmed my suspicions about him. Apparently, in a divorce document between his parents, it was stated at the age of seven that he was a special needs child. A high functioning autistic (also heard voices).

One video of someone trying to friend Elliot stated that Elliot said he wanted to have friends but would not try to be friendly, going off to be by himself as if he was in deep in thought. Maybe to the voice? Elliot himself thought he was special. His writings make him out to be, among other things, a narcissistic, spoiled brat ... crying when he didn't get his way. He obviously was a complex individual.

After reading some of his literate manuscript, I can say that he was deeply disturbed by sex to the point of being obsessed in wanting to do away with it for everyone because he said it was evil. However, even saying that, he said that he wanted to have sex (with blondes) but blamed girls because he was a virgin. Yet, this fairly attractive young man made no attempt to be friendly with girls in order to even have a relationship ... blaming his shyness.

Sounds to be he was crossing swords with himself. Saying one thing but meaning another. It's as if one hand pulled to what he wanted while the other hand pushed it away ... or was it the voice?
He was so good at fooling people that no one suspected what seethed underneath ... including all the psychiatrists he had seen. One friend said he didn't even recognize Elliot in the video he made, his voice was not his normal voice.

I wonder if he could have fooled an empath who also heard voices?

I'm reminded of what my dad said: it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Clarity

When I get feelings of doubt from guidance, it's not the "they don't know doubt," it's the "there's more to it than that" doubt.

Then, if I choose, I look it up on the Internet, for confirmation of what I was led to feel, or have a conversation for more understanding. As I'm reading anything about any particular subject, I'm also being guided by feelings of truth or feelings of letting me know it's still a non-truth.

Searching and verifying helps me clear the doubt away. If it works for me, it should work for anyone, but first you have to want clarity too and not allow any possible deceit to overrule ... just because it fits someone's agenda. 

Human Nature

I've learned that if people want to believe something so intensely, they will make the puzzle piece fit even if they have to shave an edge to do it.

Mysterious Bruises or Scratches?

A friend said recently that she had a mysterious scratch and I shared the below comment with her.

----------My Comment

My mom used to tell me that she couldn't discipline all her children all the time but God could. That meant every time we stubbed a toe or walked into something, she would say, if she saw it: see? Meaning we must have done or said something God just punished us for.

Psyched me out so much that I said I was either a klutz or a really a bad person. :)

Now my husband and I joke about it. He bit the inside of his mouth the other day and I said, hmmmm, what did you do bad? Or he says it to me when I do something. Then we just laugh about it.

I hear about all these mysterious bruises or scratches people talk about and you can imagine what I think about it.

Hmmmm.....wonder what they've done? ;)

---------End

I figure we can be fearful, humorous, or nonchalant about things like mysterious bruises or scratches. I choose humor or indifference because I know that most times I sense there is a more human reason behind things of this nature.

At least, I know it's that way with me. I have also been able to remind others, a few times, on how they've gotten an injury because they had forgotten. I know the mind has its frailties ... mental blocks happen to the best of us.

Also, most people are in such a hurry that they don't pay attention at the time something happened. Scratches and bruises can even occur at night and we may not be aware we ourselves did something because of our state of mind. We're not focused on it, as opposed to something that may have more importance at the time.

As I told another friend recently, I do a mental check just by saying, after a few expletives: that's going to leave a mark. It helps me remember how I got something. It doesn't always work, only because I may not have focused on it to help me remember.

I'm not saying that scratches or bruises cannot come from some supernatural phenomenal experience but many are innocently self induced. We have to be careful not to get caught up in the conspiracy storm and be more grounded in reality of what actually occured and not what we psyche ourselves into believing.

By the way, I know I'm a klutz and took God out of the equation a long time ago. We have to remember that not all is outside energy.

Worth and Perspective

Many years ago, while teaching a metaphysical class, a student felt frustrated in learning.

My guide suggested she think about what she knew before taking the class. What if she had fallen asleep back then but woke up today with the entire awareness she had studied to date? What would she think of what she gained then?

She smiled and said, well, putting it that way, it's quite a lot.

Worth ... it's all about perspective.

"Happy" Memorial Day?

A friend of mine said it didn't feel right to say the word "Happy" on Memorial Day. I felt she was right... it made sense to me too. What's to be happy over such a sorrowful day? However, guidance nagged at me to think about it... so I did. I wanted to make sense out of being happy on our day of mourning.

In general, our American Memorial Day wasn't always called Memorial Day. Until 1868, it was called Decoration Day, which was established to honor the fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War. The first Memorial Day ceremony was held at Arlington National Cemetery, in honor of the 20,000 deceased Union soldiers who were laid to rest there. It wasn't until 1971 that Memorial Day was proclaimed to be a U.S. national holiday.

For that partial history I've given above, regarding the USA's Memorial Day, I think I've come to terms with being happy. I'm happy that we have such a day. I'm happy in their service to their country. Without people like this, where would our country be today? With this knowledge, I'm happy in my mourning, of days gone by, because of the good memories they gave family and friends. I'm happy they fought for us and we are allowed to recognize them on this special day.

It's the only way I could reconcile the word happy for this particular day. Also, we are taught, by religious standards, to rejoice in their lives. That would mean to be happy.

As Daniel Webster once said, "Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored."

I honor them in return by rejoicing in remembering their deeds. 

Additionally, the first time I heard TAPS played was on base at the end of the day. It is played at military funerals to recognize the end of life well served. It is a solemn yet beautiful message I've always appreciated. 

~~~
TAPS (original words)

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills,
from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is nigh.

Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky,
gleaming bright
From afar, drawing near
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise for our days
Neath the sun, neath the stars,
neath the sky
As we go, this we know
God is nigh.
~~~

God is nigh. Based on my current awareness, this I know without a doubt. For this, I am happy too.

Being happy over our mourning seems a strange set of emotions but I'm hoping that those who have gone before us are happy and just may not want us to be miserable.

Be happy... let this day be happy too. As our experts say, happiness raises the vibrations in us and earth.

I found my happy in this. I hope everyone  will too. Nowadays we all have to find our happy wherever and whenever we can. I can also be happy that guidance gave me that push to think about this more.

A beautiful story about Taps: Taps The Bugler's Cry-The Origin of Sounding Taps: http://youtu.be/Nhtr5J00ntA

Taming the Storm Within

My metaphysical awareness has its good and bad.

 

When I see or read hate and intolerance, based on possible limited awareness, what I'm really seeing is a person full hate of someone or something due to their impotence or impudence in handling the situation.

 

It's all based on not being able to, or not knowing how to, create a different situation. They may very well be dealing with another's hate, impudence and intolerance.

 

A storm within a storm.

 

What's worse is the rampant spreading of lies to justify their means. When one resorts to this tactic, they tell me that they're wrong in "their truth" because "the truth" doesn't need this action.

 

With my awareness, they are also attesting to me that they are only angry because they're being controlled by this subject instead of being able to control it. Their emotions, in their fervor, can become illogical ... reasoning ceases to exist. They know everything. They have no room for any mental adjustments.

 

Right is right ... even if it's wrong ... even if it's a lie.

 

They ride the storm of their perceived injustice, in their malcontent, like riding a unbroken and angry horse, which can lead them both to destruction, because of not knowing how to handle the situation with more awareness. 

 

I see the storm wailing, the rider falling, and possibly the horse being injured ... all due to impatience and ignorance.

 

Then there are those that quietly and knowingly tamed the storm, and the beast, because they patiently and lovingly planned the less turbulent path; they still accomplish their goals. 

 

Yet, in my empathic awareness, I know that some riders will fall and storms will blow ... until the wind is gone from both.

 

Those that are "young in their knowing," whether that be old or young in physical age, will feed the storm inside instead of calming it. They will kill the beast inside instead of taming it. 

 

It's why we keep allowing history to repeat itself ... we must love the storms including the destruction. If not, after all this time, we would have learned to tame them by now.

 

Right?
 

Discrimination? Hypocrisy? Segregation?

I don't mean to start a war over this, or maybe I do ... but here goes.

A law has been introduced in the USA, some time ago, that women can go topless in some states because men can. Women cannot be discriminated against ... if men do it so can they. Makes sense. Not that I will but it is a fair call for those that want to.

This also seems to be the argument given with gay marriages ... because if rights are allowed to one, we cannot disallow them to another. Again it makes sense ... do unto others and all that. Fair is fair. I'm allowed to be straight. No one is denying me that right.

This brings me to my question.  

Wouldn't that also apply to racial comments made within a race that are not allowed outside a race due to it being considered racial slander towards said race?

I dislike name calling, even though I've been guilty, in the past, of doing so when angry or upset. However, to say one race can call themselves a derogatory or vulgar name but no other race can use it, without being sued, shows a blatant discrimination towards the other races, as well as an hypocrisy, yet what's worse is that it promotes segregation which is what I thought no one wanted anymore.

Right?

Wouldn't this topic be based on an equal rights platform too, which is shoved in our faces daily through the media and lawyers who are itching for lawsuits?

Or ... is equality just lip service.

No one should be able to use any word that another cannot use ... for any reason. Who gives one rights on words over another?

Who made that law?

Ascension Judgments

I often see comments that we need to give up consuming meat and milk, among other things, in order to spiritually ascend.

To me, that is false doctrine to control and mislead people. I have been eating whatever I choose because of receiving a message by our Divine Creator, many years ago, to do and eat "everything in moderation." 

I wouldn't judge that message because I know the reason why it was said. You can know to by just asking. 

To continue, I still "ascended" in awareness and consider myself "multidimensional" due to my universal and spiritual training. I consume meat and dairy ... among other things ... in moderation. Moderation for me may not be the same for another ... that's for each individual to decide.

When it comes to any awareness, the only limits we have are what we put on ourselves based on our social consciousness. I hear or read things that we shouldn't do this or that in order to "ascend" ... all based on social programming or reprogramming. Isn't that a judgment? Aren't we advised not to judge? 

I'm not condoning breaking laws but we have broken many of them throughout history when we needed to change the rules of life. Besides, who made those rules, or as my father would have said: who said?

Travel and you will see where your current social or spiritual awareness takes you then. Traveling, even if it's only through videos or television, is good for opening one's mind ... ascending one's opinions ... limiting judgments ... transforming spiritually. Traveling makes one question many things ... especially "who said?"

For instance, if you judge eating meat then don't do it. For you see, it is the judging that causes density. A fear of not spiritually ascending is another density placed on us from another's opinion ... because these things are programmed by another or others.

It is the ego of others that causes one to judge. If we live alone, who or what would we judge ... or judge us? 

No one!

I don't have to like something someone does. I don't have to judge them for it either. I have a saying that keeps me from judging ... to each their own. I've learned that teaching opens the mind more than preaching. Show me the logic in what you teach if you want to convert me. 

Furthermore, I'm only human and still have my feelings of right or wrong. For instance, I don't like children being exploited for any reason ... they are our future ... and I would like to see a better future. However, who am I to judge what greater purpose, if any, could be in play?

I digress ...

I don't consider myself perfect or superior to anyone or anything and nothing I've apparently done in life caused enough density to keep me from ascending in my spiritual awareness. Nothing did because I did not allow limits based on other people's egos. 

Ascension is only a higher awareness ... a transformation of life. We are the only ones stopping ourselves from ascending by the limits we allow. Be careful of the density one creates from judging because we can be our own worse enemy in accomplishing anything.

Yes, all I have written is based on my opinion. An opinion of many years of living it ... at times, painfully so ... and not hearsay. 

I know I have ascended my awareness through my transformation ... free like a butterfly finally out of its cocoon. Yet, I still have my occasional density and grounding in my reality.

Can I have both?

Well, why not?

Who says I can't?

Guidance: Seeking Answers

I had a friend write me with some questions. I asked guidance for help in responding. Below is what I was given. They direct replies with the person in mind and I've learned to keep my emotions out of it. 

The response reminded me that the answers we may get from higher awareness aren't always what we may expect. I know I wasn't expecting what I was asked to share, which is why I decided to blog about it too. 

---------Response

Does it matter how they feel about themselves or what others feel about them? Peace of mind comes from not what others think of themselves (or others) but how you feel about yourself (or others).

When teachers say that peace comes from within ... that's what they mean ... it's what each person is carrying within them to understand life. Some may still be young in soul and mind and don't want to be anything other than children running amuck in a toy store. 

Then there are people who are like you ... always seeking answers to everything ... wanting to learn ... yet can cause more stress due to expecting simple answers to complicated questions. Life is complicated and cannot always be generalized under one umbrella of thought. 

This is why some people get upset when they don't get the answer they feel they should be getting. What if the majority of that community thought of themselves as a world minority but a collective few do not? You can go to two different people, within the community, and get two different answers. Who you go to, to have your answer, will be important towards the outcome of what you seek. 

Life is ever changing, too. Tomorrow's answers, from these same two people, may be different based on numerous reasons of changes within or without. 

So to your questions, I give you a question to help you keep things in perspective. Will what you seek have value enough for peace of mind ... like providing for your needs ... not necessarily wants ... in your life?

----------End

I felt guidance was saying that we can get overly zealous with our seeking and that we should consider important things in life that can help in our individual direction, including taking time to enjoy life during our quest for answers. 

History and Collective Thought

Sometimes, I wonder who makes those decisions of right and wrong and why? There's generally some sort of scare or logical reason we "must" do things a certain way and if not we may be made to feel "guilty" over not conforming to another's truth. We've seen this thoughout history in things like witch hunts, among other things, which means just because it's collective thought doesn't make it right or best. 

Which may be one reason I never breast fed, among other personal reasons, I raised both my daughters on plastic bottles. Some with plastic liners like this picture, which, thankfully, I found on the internet so you could see what I used. Yet, they both grew up intelligent women with generally good health (no life is illness free) even though plastic was used and warm milk was placed in the bottles. Today, we are advised it's wrong, among other things that may be deemed unworthy because we are more "aware."

My mother use glass bottles, because of the time period, and couldn't nurse either due to medical problems. They didn't have all the formulas back then, that they did when my daughters were born, but I grew up and survived it.

What protected me?

What protected my daughters?

I wouldn't suggest someone shouldn't breast feed, if that's what one feels guided to do, but is breast feeding being overstated due to some unknown reason, to create fear, guilt or some misguided morality, when history dictates otherwise? I've heard it's the first milk that comes through which is vital for the baby but what about all those women who breast fed other's babies, throughout history, because they had already been nursing a child and the baby's mother couldn't produce milk or died in child birth? Many of those babies survived.

History tells us many things.

Who should one believe?

For instance, back in the nineties we had a collective thought going around that cooking with aluminum could cause serious health conditions but it has since been debunked by science. 

This makes me wonder what fear factors we have today that could be eventually debunked as well. Apparently, knowing better doesn't always make us do better.

Yes, it's better to be safe than sorry, but I've learned that collective thought isn't always right, best or safe and we could be buying into another's agenda which may have no validity.

And, it appears that many follow collective thought like a school of fish changing direction without consciously questioning anything ... it's right ... it's wrong ... it's right ... it's wrong. 

History tells us that too.

Blinders

My spiritual guidance can be frustrating but a blessing too. I'm always being asked to look beyond any limited thinking ... to remove any blinders I may be wearing.

Blinders are worn by animals to keep them from being distracted over something that can cause them to shy away or bolt in fear.

Humans wear invisible blinders without even knowing it.

These invisible blinders can be good or bad depending on its purpose. They can help one focus on a direction to be successful on a project but they can be the proverbial chains that hold us down or back due to unreasonable stubbornness, self righteousness or, as I said above, limited thinking.

Guidance has helped me remove limited thinking by giving me feelings of doubt and/or insight to push me to see more than I do ... or have been ... to see both sides of a situation before deciding anything.

The feelings I get are as if to say ... okay you just heard something but before you buy into it let's investigate. I already feel they know something more is involved so I do as I'm guided to do and find the justification in not making a hasty decision.

At times, I am guided to keep council with myself, as if the timing isn't right to share my awareness. Those are the times I feel that people are being given enough rope to hang themselves ... in a manner of speaking ... and I am told to be patient. At this point, I get a mental image of someone running around in circles chasing their tail, so to speak, and they're not ready to hear anything until they sit down or run out of steam.

Then, sometimes, I'm asked to share what I've discovered. However, even though I have help in removing my blinders by sharing things, to help remove other's blinders isn't so easy. Yet, the thought has been planted and that's all that matters.

I wish I could share just one day what goes on in my life (mind) because of it. I can guarantee that "gift of sight" will amaze anyone who allows it.