Controlling Manipulating Children

Young parents are finding out how their manipulating childhood days are coming back to haunt them. They are seeing their children doing the same ... creating a frustrated and, sometimes, victimized parent.

 

Don't become a victim because of your children.

 

The majority of children are smarter than you think. Diagnoses of a child's mental or physical ailments can be used against you. They can use guilt and love against you. They can find your weakness and play on them. Divorce or parental arguments can be used against you. Even screaming in public places to embarrass you. All of these things are a power control. 

 

I've even been feeling, through observation, that "sensitive children" are sensing parent's weaknesses faster.

 

I'm not saying all, but a great majority of them start learning rather fast how to manipulate their parents and peers. They have even been known to discuss this among friends at an early age ... including using meltdowns.

 

Yes, kids talk about this stuff.

 

Are you hurting from their behavior?

 

Are you giving them the sword?

 

I have watched this in many children over many years, including my siblings and my children. I have been guilty of the same in my younger years. I speak from many years of wisdom based on personal observation. Too many permissions, given to any child to keep them from bothering you, illicit future headaches and heartaches. Once they see they can get away with something, they will wear you down with it ... over and over again.

 

Wear ... you ... down!!

 

Give them an inch and they'll take a mile.

 

When they become hormonal teens, all hell breaks loose and you'll be wondering who allowed this monster into your home.

 

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule. However, you can Internet search it to see that it's nothing new. The good thing is, parents can retaliate and not reward bad behavior. Tough love doesn't mean beating your child senseless but strong, loving, and meaningful discipline.

 

They will get over it ... seriously.

 

Besides when or where did parents' manipulating skills begin? We learned them as a child. Remember? Did you forget how to use them? Use rules to get what you want. So when those teen years arrive, hopefully, you'll be on equal footing. If you wait until then, to establish rules, it's too late. As my mother often reminded me: discipline starts in the cradle.

 

It's time to break the cycle ... the parent curse!

Teenagers! Beware of the Parent's Curse! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3Xci-hygC0

Don't ever give up. There are answers for everything but you may not be asking the right questions to the right people.

This is a good website to read for empowering parents: Masters of Manipulation: How Kids Control You With Behavior http://www.empoweringparents.com/Manipulative-Child-Behavior-How-Kids-Control-You-With-Behavior.php#ixzz33FVSE1SL

 

Or ... you may not have learned what I learned from my dad ... the parental stare to instill fear (picture). Just a little levity to help you smile. We all need that. ;-)

 

I Wanted To!

There many reasons or excuses why anyone does or says anything but when it comes right down to it, it's done or said only because someone wanted to.

We can regurgitate a gazillion reasons or excuses, but the day of liberation is when one simply says: I wanted to!

Try it sometime. I wanted to!

In fact, remember this when you ask someone who did or said something and you start listening to reasons or excuses.

They wanted to!

My Brief Thoughts on Elliot Rodgers

Well, I've been busy and haven't investigated Elliot Rodgers, but today I read some things that already confirmed my suspicions about him. Apparently, in a divorce document between his parents, it was stated at the age of seven that he was a special needs child. A high functioning autistic (also heard voices).

One video of someone trying to friend Elliot stated that Elliot said he wanted to have friends but would not try to be friendly, going off to be by himself as if he was in deep in thought. Maybe to the voice? Elliot himself thought he was special. His writings make him out to be, among other things, a narcissistic, spoiled brat ... crying when he didn't get his way. He obviously was a complex individual.

After reading some of his literate manuscript, I can say that he was deeply disturbed by sex to the point of being obsessed in wanting to do away with it for everyone because he said it was evil. However, even saying that, he said that he wanted to have sex (with blondes) but blamed girls because he was a virgin. Yet, this fairly attractive young man made no attempt to be friendly with girls in order to even have a relationship ... blaming his shyness.

Sounds to be he was crossing swords with himself. Saying one thing but meaning another. It's as if one hand pulled to what he wanted while the other hand pushed it away ... or was it the voice?
He was so good at fooling people that no one suspected what seethed underneath ... including all the psychiatrists he had seen. One friend said he didn't even recognize Elliot in the video he made, his voice was not his normal voice.

I wonder if he could have fooled an empath who also heard voices?

I'm reminded of what my dad said: it's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

Clarity

When I get feelings of doubt from guidance, it's not the "they don't know doubt," it's the "there's more to it than that" doubt.

Then, if I choose, I look it up on the Internet, for confirmation of what I was led to feel, or have a conversation for more understanding. As I'm reading anything about any particular subject, I'm also being guided by feelings of truth or feelings of letting me know it's still a non-truth.

Searching and verifying helps me clear the doubt away. If it works for me, it should work for anyone, but first you have to want clarity too and not allow any possible deceit to overrule ... just because it fits someone's agenda. 

Human Nature

I've learned that if people want to believe something so intensely, they will make the puzzle piece fit even if they have to shave an edge to do it.

Mysterious Bruises or Scratches?

A friend said recently that she had a mysterious scratch and I shared the below comment with her.

----------My Comment

My mom used to tell me that she couldn't discipline all her children all the time but God could. That meant every time we stubbed a toe or walked into something, she would say, if she saw it: see? Meaning we must have done or said something God just punished us for.

Psyched me out so much that I said I was either a klutz or a really a bad person. :)

Now my husband and I joke about it. He bit the inside of his mouth the other day and I said, hmmmm, what did you do bad? Or he says it to me when I do something. Then we just laugh about it.

I hear about all these mysterious bruises or scratches people talk about and you can imagine what I think about it.

Hmmmm.....wonder what they've done? ;)

---------End

I figure we can be fearful, humorous, or nonchalant about things like mysterious bruises or scratches. I choose humor or indifference because I know that most times I sense there is a more human reason behind things of this nature.

At least, I know it's that way with me. I have also been able to remind others, a few times, on how they've gotten an injury because they had forgotten. I know the mind has its frailties ... mental blocks happen to the best of us.

Also, most people are in such a hurry that they don't pay attention at the time something happened. Scratches and bruises can even occur at night and we may not be aware we ourselves did something because of our state of mind. We're not focused on it, as opposed to something that may have more importance at the time.

As I told another friend recently, I do a mental check just by saying, after a few expletives: that's going to leave a mark. It helps me remember how I got something. It doesn't always work, only because I may not have focused on it to help me remember.

I'm not saying that scratches or bruises cannot come from some supernatural phenomenal experience but many are innocently self induced. We have to be careful not to get caught up in the conspiracy storm and be more grounded in reality of what actually occured and not what we psyche ourselves into believing.

By the way, I know I'm a klutz and took God out of the equation a long time ago. We have to remember that not all is outside energy.

Worth and Perspective

Many years ago, while teaching a metaphysical class, a student felt frustrated in learning.

My guide suggested she think about what she knew before taking the class. What if she had fallen asleep back then but woke up today with the entire awareness she had studied to date? What would she think of what she gained then?

She smiled and said, well, putting it that way, it's quite a lot.

Worth ... it's all about perspective.

"Happy" Memorial Day?

A friend of mine said it didn't feel right to say the word "Happy" on Memorial Day. I felt she was right... it made sense to me too. What's to be happy over such a sorrowful day? However, guidance nagged at me to think about it... so I did. I wanted to make sense out of being happy on our day of mourning.

In general, our American Memorial Day wasn't always called Memorial Day. Until 1868, it was called Decoration Day, which was established to honor the fallen Union soldiers of the Civil War. The first Memorial Day ceremony was held at Arlington National Cemetery, in honor of the 20,000 deceased Union soldiers who were laid to rest there. It wasn't until 1971 that Memorial Day was proclaimed to be a U.S. national holiday.

For that partial history I've given above, regarding the USA's Memorial Day, I think I've come to terms with being happy. I'm happy that we have such a day. I'm happy in their service to their country. Without people like this, where would our country be today? With this knowledge, I'm happy in my mourning, of days gone by, because of the good memories they gave family and friends. I'm happy they fought for us and we are allowed to recognize them on this special day.

It's the only way I could reconcile the word happy for this particular day. Also, we are taught, by religious standards, to rejoice in their lives. That would mean to be happy.

As Daniel Webster once said, "Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored."

I honor them in return by rejoicing in remembering their deeds. 

Additionally, the first time I heard TAPS played was on base at the end of the day. It is played at military funerals to recognize the end of life well served. It is a solemn yet beautiful message I've always appreciated. 

~~~
TAPS (original words)

Day is done, gone the sun
From the lakes, from the hills,
from the sky
All is well, safely rest
God is nigh.

Fading light dims the sight
And a star gems the sky,
gleaming bright
From afar, drawing near
Falls the night.

Thanks and praise for our days
Neath the sun, neath the stars,
neath the sky
As we go, this we know
God is nigh.
~~~

God is nigh. Based on my current awareness, this I know without a doubt. For this, I am happy too.

Being happy over our mourning seems a strange set of emotions but I'm hoping that those who have gone before us are happy and just may not want us to be miserable.

Be happy... let this day be happy too. As our experts say, happiness raises the vibrations in us and earth.

I found my happy in this. I hope everyone  will too. Nowadays we all have to find our happy wherever and whenever we can. I can also be happy that guidance gave me that push to think about this more.

A beautiful story about Taps: Taps The Bugler's Cry-The Origin of Sounding Taps: http://youtu.be/Nhtr5J00ntA

Taming the Storm Within

My metaphysical awareness has its good and bad.

 

When I see or read hate and intolerance, based on possible limited awareness, what I'm really seeing is a person full hate of someone or something due to their impotence or impudence in handling the situation.

 

It's all based on not being able to, or not knowing how to, create a different situation. They may very well be dealing with another's hate, impudence and intolerance.

 

A storm within a storm.

 

What's worse is the rampant spreading of lies to justify their means. When one resorts to this tactic, they tell me that they're wrong in "their truth" because "the truth" doesn't need this action.

 

With my awareness, they are also attesting to me that they are only angry because they're being controlled by this subject instead of being able to control it. Their emotions, in their fervor, can become illogical ... reasoning ceases to exist. They know everything. They have no room for any mental adjustments.

 

Right is right ... even if it's wrong ... even if it's a lie.

 

They ride the storm of their perceived injustice, in their malcontent, like riding a unbroken and angry horse, which can lead them both to destruction, because of not knowing how to handle the situation with more awareness. 

 

I see the storm wailing, the rider falling, and possibly the horse being injured ... all due to impatience and ignorance.

 

Then there are those that quietly and knowingly tamed the storm, and the beast, because they patiently and lovingly planned the less turbulent path; they still accomplish their goals. 

 

Yet, in my empathic awareness, I know that some riders will fall and storms will blow ... until the wind is gone from both.

 

Those that are "young in their knowing," whether that be old or young in physical age, will feed the storm inside instead of calming it. They will kill the beast inside instead of taming it. 

 

It's why we keep allowing history to repeat itself ... we must love the storms including the destruction. If not, after all this time, we would have learned to tame them by now.

 

Right?
 

Discrimination? Hypocrisy? Segregation?

I don't mean to start a war over this, or maybe I do ... but here goes.

A law has been introduced in the USA, some time ago, that women can go topless in some states because men can. Women cannot be discriminated against ... if men do it so can they. Makes sense. Not that I will but it is a fair call for those that want to.

This also seems to be the argument given with gay marriages ... because if rights are allowed to one, we cannot disallow them to another. Again it makes sense ... do unto others and all that. Fair is fair. I'm allowed to be straight. No one is denying me that right.

This brings me to my question.  

Wouldn't that also apply to racial comments made within a race that are not allowed outside a race due to it being considered racial slander towards said race?

I dislike name calling, even though I've been guilty, in the past, of doing so when angry or upset. However, to say one race can call themselves a derogatory or vulgar name but no other race can use it, without being sued, shows a blatant discrimination towards the other races, as well as an hypocrisy, yet what's worse is that it promotes segregation which is what I thought no one wanted anymore.

Right?

Wouldn't this topic be based on an equal rights platform too, which is shoved in our faces daily through the media and lawyers who are itching for lawsuits?

Or ... is equality just lip service.

No one should be able to use any word that another cannot use ... for any reason. Who gives one rights on words over another?

Who made that law?