Silent Sufferer - Strong Will

There are far too many silent sufferers. Not because they don't yearn to reach out, but because they've tried and found no one who cares. ~ Richelle E. Goodrich

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I had this revelation the other day, which I thought I'd share. Sometimes, when we feel we aren't rewarded for our kindness, the universe may send us a subtle message to help put things in perspective. Allow me to explain.

I was called a silent sufferer recently. Even though I've shared my life with blogs, videos and books, I tend to keep my daily pain and suffering mostly to myself. I've been this way nearly all my life. I would hold back my tears when I was spanked as a child. I couldn't bring myself to scream or cry while in heavy labor or delivery. I can recall many times during my life that something would happen and I didn't publically make a scene or cry uncontrollably, including at funerals where tears were minimally shed, if at all. It's just something within me to not do this, unless pushed too far.

This is why I don't often discuss my pain and suffering today. It's not to under play it, but I know that way too many of those I care for also suffer, and I choose not to add to their burdens. Maybe it's my way of not owning it too. To walk away from it. To give it over to a greater power.

So far, it seems to work and it's this attitude that I share with others during their trials. Many times, people tell me that they appreciate my compassion and help during their suffering. It can be a fearful path they're on; I've been there. I know how that feels on both ends of the spectrum: to suffer with pain and have a helping hand, or suffering without help. At least, without conscious help that I could see.

Which is why I choose to comfort another whenever guided to do so. I feel it may be part of the universe's divine guidance plan; sending them to me (or another) to help them learn how to help themselves.

While helping others get through their suffering and teaching them what I've learned, I've discovered that, occasionally and inadvertently, I've helped myself. I've often forgotten my own troubles. I've learned to minimize my life's trials due to another's. I've also turned acquaintances into dear friendships.

It's made me realize that many times we do reap what we sow. Even if it's not immediately. Even if tilling the soil, so to speak, took more effort than I felt like doing at the time ... for me or another. Even if I felt unappreciated because they wanted me to do it for them instead of learning. Even if I had to back away from helping another in order to help myself.

It's all the same: what goes around comes around.

Of course, I'm not saying everything I do is perfect or painless every time, for me or another, but I honestly feel that all effort (sowing) is rewarded (reaping) ... eventually. I realized that all my efforts have not gone unnoticed, "someone" is listening to my unspoken thoughts. I realized that I have been rewarded often for my kindness to others.

How so? Well, I look around me and feel  comfort surrounding me in my home, as well as love from my husband, along with the love from my family and friends. I still have many painful and hurtful experiences, which can cause me suffering. Sometimes, it's from helping others: getting in the way of someone not wanting them to be helped. However, by putting my feelings aside for another's needs, not overly complaining, practicing what I preach, it has been noted by the "powers that be." This caused them to help me; even while I was unaware.

That was my revelation. When I notice other's lives and their hardships, I feel that "without God's grace go I." Every now and then we all need that reminder to keep things in perspective.

I still have my everyday trials but I have learned to count my blessings, including the ones that have been bestowed by those in the know. Yes, those that say I'm a silent sufferer, at times, but they also know that what sees me through it all is my very strong will.