Lately, I've been reading social media comments about fear, fear and more fear. It had me wondering, did all those "understanding and releasing fears" lessons, from many spiritual teachers over the years, go in one ear and out the other?
Most of it seems to be a fear of change, or what they feel will be bad change, because the unknown can be scary. However, since the only thing constant is change, it would be more beneficial to keep on top of anything new, or different, from how things were, instead of letting one's concerns become overwhelming. This is the "understanding" which helps to "release" fear. In order to do that, we have to move beyond what's holding us back - what we're fearing - and not accentuating it by placating other's fears or being used by those who choose to manipulate people into fearing for their personal gain.
To begin with, before negating other's opinions, hear them out and discuss everything - rationally. Our emotional programming could be rejecting new or different information, because it doesn't "feel" right. But, that's okay, we don't want to be gullible. However, we have to be careful about being duped by that lack of awareness that can cause our gullibility. That's why it's important to seek outside of that by having intellectual discussions with others. It helps us have a "check and balance" towards our decision making.
What's not okay is seeing facts add up and still refuting it. That's when we should stop and have a serious talk with ourself, so to speak, to find out why. Weigh everything, we don't have to follow anyone's ideas, but make sure it common sense and not fear that's guiding us. A good clue would be when our fear leads to hate and anger. Yes, fear is a natural protection within the "animal" kingdoms, but not when it's irrational fear.
We can help to move beyond that by, genuinely, expressing our concerns. It may assist us to get the validation we need that things will be fine or, at least, acceptable and, hopefully, put our fears to rest. For instance, if it doesn't work out, can we change back? New information may be brought to the table for further discussion. Will it cause chaos? What can we do to compromise? Of course, in the past, we've learned that promises have been broken for numerous reasons. People have lied who we thought we could trust. It teaches us to be resilient. It can, hopefully, teach us to avoid fear-mongering.
Lastly, when I worked for Disney, we, constantly, heard: change is good. It was a phrase that caused many of us to groan: not again! My biggest fear was stress, due to the mistakes that I felt I would make while learning any new technology or protocol. It taught me that, sometimes, things don't always go our way but, just as Nemo's dad, Marlin, discovered, by facing our challenges and working together, we helped release our fear of change.
One of my friends emailed me about her comment not going through but I felt it was important to share. I discovered it was long so I put it in segments.
ReplyDelete---------
I haven't had the chance to read quite a few of your blogs, but I saw this one and was drawn to it.
First, what I find interesting is that people (most people) are quite accepting of the advancement and change in technology...but not in the change of mentally or the change in tradition. It's very strange (my vocabulary is very limited lol so it's the best word I could use to describe it) how the concept of change is not always a bad thing.
Simply, if we look at how far we've come (such as giving rights to women, getting rid of the restraints of segregation), you would think it's almost like some people are so comfortable with the idea that although they speak about opposing it, it's like they grasp to it because it's all they know.
I found this part interesting:
"Our emotional programming could be rejecting new or different information, because it doesn't "feel" right." It was one of those things I couldn't put into words, but you did it so well lol I was commenting on something not too long ago, and I couldn't word what I wanted to express.
Part two of comment.
DeleteIt was like I was trying to explain how sometimes we get a bad impression about something, and sometimes it's not off, but sometime it is. Yet I didn't want to state that our intuition is wrong, but that our brains are quite faulty.
I won't say everyone is this way, because I've seen a lot of comments recently from supportive people who are trying to help others not get so trapped within their own confliction and instead to seek freedom of who they are, yet it seems the negative outweighs the positive. I've even seen this with a few youtubers I'm subscribed to. They have all these supporters, yet they seem to try to explain to the negative ones why they do what they do. I simply see it as they are doing what they're doing because it makes them happy!
I can't quite comprehend why some people choose to stay stuck in a certain way. Or why they think tormenting another is a way to prove a point. Yet, I think these people think they are RIGHT in the sense of what is considered to be moral. They are the one's who look at the negative past and possibly think that if it was done to them, they only way to make it right is to do it to another. Or, to shut out the pain, they do something so extreme to feel something much more powerful than to face their own inner turmoil.
Part three of comment.
DeleteThey may live only by emotions and allow that to take control. Such as living in hate or fear. I agree with you that I do believe some people see the facts add up (whatever they may be), and yet continuing to ignore it. I find it tough to argue against their claim that what they're saying is "wrong" if I say there are no right or wrong choices. Simply I see it as a person wanting to stay stuck in a time, and wanting to keep others with them. But this doesn't have to be the case. A lot of people are open to the possibilities, or they need possibilities to be open to.
I can't...or rather, I wouldn't expect people to just jump on a bandwagon just because we say that it's the best path to take, especially if there truly is no actual proof, and even if these is proof, they may want even more, or they may want to only hear what seems sound to them.
Also, your last statement sits with me well (and I'm sure with many others), and because of this I can understand (or try to understand) why others may fear change. It's learning something new, or the fear of making a mistake or not fitting in with that new "socially acceptable norm"...or that's my theory.
A perfect example to me is that I'd like to learn a new program, yet it seems very intimidating! To start from square one with something new can be a bit intimidating, but then I remembered when I learned the program I used for school for the first time and felt the same way, but now I"m very comfortable in the program and can do many things.
I think the best way to help people understand is to show them that there are moments when us, the people who seem confident enough to say "everything will be okay" have also felt a bit uneasy. It could also be helpful to explain that out of new things comes new skills and new possibilities. For me, it was that I learned a new program and can make my creations even better.
I'm a person who often feel uneasy when I try something new, but I try to see that once I learn it (even though there's quite a bit of work involved), what good could come from it. I think this is what people are missing. They aren't trying to see the good, they simply focus on the work that may come from the change and possibly the the mental and emotional change. Kind of like moving from one town to another. Things are not always as bad as we make them out to be. Overall, humans are quite capable or adapting. We just assume we aren't, but if you preview the past, change has always been.
Oh! I know this is long, but one more thing, I once read that even if people fear the change or don't want a part of it, change will still occur even with them kicking and screaming lol If we can't stop our bodies from changing and aging, what makes people think time will stop moving forward if they yell at it.
My simple plea is that they don't (or won't) harm others or try to drag them down, and that some people are smart enough or strong enough to not let themselves get dragged along.
:) Thanks for sharing this. It helped me spew out a few of my thoughts and put things in perspective.
Mon