I consider myself an observer of people, something I've done all my life. It's helped me help others during their emotional turmoils. Even as a child, it seemed I was helping people resolve issues. As the years progressed, I learned that love and hate can be very controlling emotions, especially when we love or hate with intensity; we can forget reasoning or common sense. Also, like flipping a switch, if we love with intensity, we can hate with intensity. Because of that fine line, I came to a conclusion that I prefer the emotions behind the words of like or dislike instead.
They seem to hold less power over people.
I wouldn't even allow my children to say they hated someone in front of me. One day, one of my daughters was so angry at someone she slipped and said hate. I corrected her and said, you mean dislike. She was so upset that she turned around and asked if it was alright to intensely dislike? Knowing she was just venting, I smiled and told her, "yes, you can intensely dislike." Then we both saw the humor in what we were saying and started laughing, disfusing her anger.
Laughter really is good for healing.
Another time, I was talking to one of my stepsons, when he was a teen, about his frustration with his biological mom. He was asking me why should he love her? I sat down next to him and explained that God wants us to love everyone but that doesn't mean we have to like them over any particular opinion or like them all the time. There is a difference. There are times we love people but we don't always like everything they say or do. It's why we can be in love with someone and put up with the things we may not always like about them. However, if the dislikes start taking over the likes, the love will suffer and may lead to hate.
Love may be blind but it shouldn't be stupid.
I once asked a friend why she was with someone that she seemed to dislike more than like. I saw the disrespect they both had for each other, even calling each other vulgar names. She told me it was because she loved him. I was shocked and asked if she would allow a friend to treat her that way? Her reply was, "of course not!" I continued, "then why are you allowing it from him, someone you say you love? Why do you put up with that type of behavior if you wouldn't tolerate it from anyone else?"
Why do we?
Years went by and I developed my metaphysical awareness. I learned about attachments and karma. I learned why people do the things they do. I learned we were with people, at times, for lessons to be learned. Many times, the lessons were painful. The love and hate causing wounds so deep that healing was difficult. I watched people meet and separate over it because they forgot that like and dislike were important too. I helped a young man understand why his wife left him. Apparently, she was sent to help him but he wasn't learning a lesson he needed. The universe moved her on to be able to send another. Someone that would come along and be stronger for him. I helped him realize that in order to move on, he had to let her go with love ... with no hate in his heart. Only then would the door open to what he wanted.
Lessons and more lessons!
Many times, people cling to someone because their inner love and self worth are lacking. If you wouldn't put up with a friend treating you harshly, than why a lover? If you don't like what you see in others, don't become them. If you want someone special in your life, be it yourself. If you don't like you, how can you expect another to like you?
If we expect less, we may get less.
Based on all my life's lessons, I would rather live alone than allow someone's hate or dislike of me to abuse me. You may say, but your life's lessons taught you this, maybe we need to learn lessons the hard way too.
Seriously?
Than why do we bother sharing information? A smart person learns from their mistakes but a smarter person learns from another's. Love yourself or like yourself. Either way, take no less from another, but don't let it fester into extreme dislike or hate ... destructive emotions. No one should walk around with a chip on their shoulder because we all have our crosses to bear. Arrogance makes one think they're the only one suffering. In this day and age, with all the help that's available, with all the knowledge that's available, we should be better at controlling ourselves.
Or, are we still no more advanced than the emotional mentality of barbarians?
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