My mom believed that learning started in the cradle. She knew that teaching values early on was important. As I grew older, I learned that these values were outside of any faith one has. This isn't a faith based ideology; it is the teachings of solid foundations that all children need. They learn to be a team player at home and eventually in their future environment.
Those foundations are, but not limited to: learning to limit their wants and desires, learning that hearing no is just as important as hearing yes, understanding love and compassion, abiding by the rules and regulations within the family structure for peace and harmony, learning to be respectful and honorable, learning honesty and integrity, understanding the rights and needs of others and learning about give and take for fairness.
Children should be taught good values with firmness. They should be aware that bad choices will lead to disciplinarian consequences. A parent should not turn a deaf ear to whining and complaining without letting children know that this too will have consequences. Children are not stupid. They can learn to manpulate parents. They learn by observing and will do what they can to avoid those consequences; including wearing a parent out with crying.
Many times, it seems that a child's objective is to avoid discipline and push boundaries. A parent's objective should be teaching values with understanding and love, even if that includes tough love. Tough love isn't abusive love.
In my personal experience, I have learned that children not only need but appreciate loving discipline and solid foundations, as it gives them grounding and prevents them from being unruly at home and in public. You cannot let them run wild at home and expect them to be calm in public. This will only cause them confusion. Establishing these values will create peace, love, joy and harmony for everyone.
If parents cannot teach these solid values, they will have the opposite. This may create chaos, not only within the child but, eventually, within the world ... as you sow, so shall you reap.
As far as dealing with children who are manipulative, my blog on how to control this might help. One of the worse thing that can happen is a child learning that their parent was similar when younger. Nip it in the bud. Tell them that we don't want history repeating itself. We're supposed to be learning to improve ourselves as humans. Unless they prefer being a wild animal living on a farm ... there's always that next lifetime. ;-)
Controlling Manipulating Children blog link:
http://atomaraneadvice.blogspot.com/2014/05/controlling-manipulating-children.html?m=1
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