Lost Soul: I Was Blind ...

Many years ago, I had reviewed nearly the entire spectrum of spiritual belief systems, looking to find something I felt was lost within me, until I discover it was me I was looking for ... my soul. It wasn't something outside of me, it was me.

Once I knew this, and all it entailed, nothing else mattered. I felt free, similar to what a caterpillar must experience when it morphs into a butterfly. I knew why I've always liked butterflies and my associating them with freedom. It's similar to my association of cats and independence because, even though I've been dependent on people most my life, I've had a strong feeling of being independent. However, this was curbed by my feelings of logic and reasoning. These are a few of my feelings that I was able to eventually understand. 

My soul journeying also helped me understand the chaos in our world today. Many times, we have to tear down the old to build up the new. It's always difficult to change because of ego and our fear of the unknown or of letting go. It helped release me of those fears. It helped me understand eternity, as well as understanding me and why I felt as I did. It gave me peace of mind, which helps during troubling times. It helped me feel sympathy for those who haven't been fortunate to know what I know. It opened my eyes to see the world differently. I was no longer a lost soul in a world of many lost souls. As the saying goes: I was blind but now I see.

Judge not, that ye be not judged?

I've been reading how people are overusing the word judging again or more appropriately misusing it. I dont think anyone is judging by voicing their opinion. It's only calling it like you see it, based on discernment.

I see a cat being mean to a dog, that's what I'll call it, as well as intervene. But who am I to judge? Maybe the dog was mean first. See?

However, if I see someone mocking someone, due to being prejudice, that is how I see it. If I point it out, it's because I'm saying what I see.

If someone is being flippant, and I don't like it, maybe it's only right to point it out. They may not know they're being flippant.

If someone is being hypocritical, maybe they should be reminded of how it felt when the shoe was on the other foot.

If someone is being arrogant, it should be important to point this out too, especially if you care about them. Why would anyone want someone they care about to remain arrogant?

None of this is judging, as long as hate isn't in your heart. Of course, it's still important to be kind too, because we don't know what provoked any scenario. Besides, if someone calls me out for mocking, being prejudice, flippant, a hypocrite or arrogant, than God bless them for showing me the way.

I'll remember to do likewise.

Biproducts of a Decline in Humanity's Self Worth

I've always wondered about attacks on children. Why them? Are we not protecting them enough or is it just an animal mentality of attacking the weak or innocent? Maybe this is why I received this epiphany recently. It was not only about the physical and psychic attacks on our children, but humanities double standards and the decline of self worth, leading to other declines. It was so far fetched, it was believable. It certainly opened my eyes in how far back this insanity has gone on and how we've learned to make excuses over it. No, it's not applicable to everything and everyone, and by no means the only reason, but a large enough portion to be a concern. Below is what I received and the ensuing conversation with guidance. 

 

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Generally, most parents, in a civilized country (or home), try to raise their children under a blanket of protection. They tell children they're not allowed to watch an inappropriate movie, not to talk disrespectfully, be polite to others, no profanity allowed, be kind and considerate, and all sorts of things we consider wrong for our children but okay for adults. In fact, we insist they get out and play, watch cartoons and share with siblings and/or friends because that's the right thing to do. On the most part, they are to have fun, while learning, because they'll be "grownups" soon enough.

 

Then the hammer drops. They start growing up, seeing and hearing the real world of hate, vulgarity and violence; some becoming desensitized zombies in the process of their adulthood. Some feeling they're being dragged down and into this strange adult world by those who have already learned to feel unworthy. Mostly based on their disconnection of childhood memories, which they were taught was proper behavior but now it's not. Tossed in a storm of deceit because, apparently, proper and respectful living is only for children. The double standards starts chipping away at their life and the darkness starts to rear it's ugly head. Nostalgia may lead to depression and the attacks to themselves or others begin. All due to an unconscious resentment towards what some once had but feel they cannot recapture. They attack due to hate and jealousy which manifests into physical and mental health attacks ... including from the unseen. They've lost their ability to see their self worth. 

 

Without a doubt, these emotions have also led into the attacks of some while still children, which still creates a path of worthlessness. In this case, it starts earlier than later. 

 

Guidance even stated that it's become so bad that some adults are unconsciously trying to rectify things without understanding the reasons behind what they do. They have elected to teach their children to be adults, while still young, with all the impropriety that entails. This, sadly, has caused more turmoil instead of less; good mental health is on a decline along with intellectual reasoning. As mentioned above, a decline in self worth can fuel this.

 

Also, guidance reminded me, while we were discussing this epiphany: "Many teachers were sent here to teach love and self worth and were attacked too. The lack of some adult's self worth is so strong they couldn't see their salvation being given to them as a gift. In fact, like wanting to attack the innocence of children, due to resentment, they wanted to seek revenge against the teachers too. After all, many may reason that these teachers, like the children, must be more worthy. Since they feel no worth, cannot see the gift being offered, they attack because that's all they know how to do now. It's easier for some to attack and try to bring another down to their level than rising above it."

 

Yes, it may seem far-fetched but these troubles are deep within many and a major reason why many children are targeted; those children who have been attacked physically and mentally, including physical and mental illnesses. Yes, these are thoughts in the universe that can permeate into anyone's mind. Yes, it appears to be a never ending story; a repetitive battle. Yes, it's insanity, and it's chaos. However, we allow ourselves to remain in the quagmire, or we allow ourselves to be pushed back into it, because it's become easier to do so. It's also become a perpetual revenge of what was lost but may also be feared. It's like attacking the light because we're more familiar with the dark. 

 

We attack adults due to hate of what we've become and they're a reminder. 

 

We attack children due to jealousy of what we lost and they're a reminder. 

 

We attack ourselves due to lacking love within.

 

We attack due to fear that we aren't worthy or someone else may be more worthy.

 

The "Authentic" Dylann Roof?

Okay, here's some thoughts that's been meandering in my mind today. Maybe some questions for intelligent debate ... for some deep thinking?

If people are allowed to be their authentic selves, and our thoughts create our reality, and there's no such thing as an "accident" in the universe, why wouldn't Dylann Roof fit under these categories?

How does one say what took place was right or wrong if the bigger picture isn't known? Is there a bigger picture? Did our thoughts create this? Did an all seeing God create this? If so, why was it created?

How do we know that what created this ideology of being authentic (our desires?) didn't create the desire within him to be the same? Can an invisible line be drawn for one but not another?

Can we put a degree of hurt on anyone just because death was involved? Isn't death only a physical thing and the soul is eternal? Isn't loss still a loss, even if it's a loss of an old way of thinking not just a life? Are we all guinea pigs in this bigger picture? After all, many people believe that Jesus was used, and his life given, for a bigger picture. Correct?

Is one to be allowed authenticity, due to their actions creating a worldwide controversy, yet another isn't?

Is our reasoning logical? Is our logic reasonable?

I'm not defending his actions, by any means, but remember the saying, be careful in what you ask for, because it may not go the way you think it should?

••••••••••

This picture is a mugshot of Roof taken by the Charleston County Sheriff's Office, June 18, 2015.

Ethnic Slurs

There's not one race that hasn't had an ethnic slur from another. This form of bullying is timeless. It's gone back thousands of years. It doesn't make it right but we don't need to keep empowering it. We have choices.

As my dad used to tell me, only the truth hurts. So if it's not the truth why would anyone allow themselves to feel hurt from it. Again, why keep empowering it? Isn't it time to change our attitude? Why keep allowing others to be bullies over ethnic slurs?

Even if it did hurt, because you felt it was the truth, you don't have to own it or let them see you care. I taught my kids to jokingly agree with someone when they're called a name. To not wear their heart on their sleeve. To not be overly sensitive. Many times, agreeing, with humor, takes the fire out of the fight.

After all, do you really care what bullies say? Do they care about you? Do they enhance your life in any way? Why care about what they say about you? Everyone has flaws. People will look for them within you because you allow it. People will pick at your flaws if you allow them. Don't allow it.

They're the ones that need help. Don't let them project their hate of themselves onto you. They could have learned this behavior at home. If so, maybe you should feel sorry for them instead, because they just proved their lack of self worth to you. In that moment, with this understanding, they just empowered you. See?

List of Ethnic Slurs

https://wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs

Acquiring Knowledge

Every now and then, I think back on something a relative said a long time ago to me. She told me that I was years ahead of my time. My spiritual teacher, at that time, told her very sternly: no, you're years behind time.

It made me realize how we can get stuck in a rut or drag our feet about changes or ideas. We get comfortable and refuse to budge. That's when we learn to change but it may be the hard way because we didn't pay attention to the directions or flow given to help us evolve.

That's when I also realized that allowing doesn't mean putting up with. I allow a lot but I won't put up with someone holding me back if I can help it. If I can't move away, than I just may need to drag them along with me.

Intolerance and Hypocrisy

I've been seeing a lot of anger about intolerance lately; an unwillingness to tolerate or respect opinions or beliefs contrary to one's own. Nevertheless, and this may shock some, but I honestly believe that no one has to tolerate or respect everything or everyone. I wouldn't tolerate or respect a rapist or murderer for instance. As in trust or respect, maybe tolerance is an earned thing too, via education and understanding and not with heated demands.

Furthermore, demanding tolerance and respect when it's not returned, angrily despising something in another that someone also does themselves, only shows that they're no different. It's actually placing themselves on the same level they're judging. This is called hypocrisy; pretending to be better than another when one's actions show otherwise. As if the Golden Rule should apply to everyone but them.

This behavior creates negativity that many wish to shun. We tend to avoid situations that we cannot control or do not have the energy to combat ... leaving it up to others who can. There's nothing wrong in separating oneself from another's negative behavior; it's our instinct for survival. Many times, we choose to separate ourselves from things we find offensive. For example, the aforementioned intolerance and hypocrisy, but also bigotry, violence or other negativity. Just as we separate ourselves from wild animals for our survival.

Also, I would like to add that another's behavior isn't always what we see in ourselves either. This is something I've had controversy with for years. The metaphysical community has tried to manipulate many into believing that seeing things in others means that we see the same in ourselves or we couldn't recognize this behavior ... a mirror image. This is not always the truth. Unless our belief system incorporates our soul's knowledge, which many are still unaware of this area. 

Even so, that theory is still flawed. For you see, humans have the power of observation. We have the power of education. We have the power of distinguishing right from wrong. When we utilized those powers, we see truths that we've gained through observation, education, and discernment. We may see someone as intolerant or a hypocrite because we've learned what those words mean. It's not always within us. 

Just as we call a tiger for what it is and not because we are one or were possibly one in a past life. Just as we call someone a particular race, when we're not of that race and may never have been. This is not a judgement ... it's a fact.

Pointing out intolerance or hypocrisy are words we use to express our feelings based on the definition of said words. Like knowing the differences of color, trees or birds, for instance. However, it's the emotions behind the words which should be more important. These emotions help us utilize those above mentioned powers, along with intuition, to determine who's really being intolerant or a hypocrite and why.

Just some thoughts to ponder.

What's Next?

Dare I ask? I saw this meme and it made me chuckle. It pretty much sums up those unhappy parts of my life. Thank goodness there's been good too and thank goodness I still have my sense of humor.

I stopped asking "what's next" because I know there always will be,  so why bother. At least, I'm still here. Maybe because our Divine Creator has put me on earth to do certain things and due to the setbacks from the adversities I have faced, in getting THE job done, I may have to stay around earth for a long, long time.

Putting me behind in my tasks has it's rewards. ;-) 

Also, my adversaries have, in their limited thinking, allowed me a higher awareness in knowing about heaven and hell. I now know they are not places but a state of mind which can be experienced in any dimension.

On earth as it is in heaven means we can be in hell here or there. War in heaven ... as it were. So it's best to clear up any issues before we leave this life or we may be facing them elsewhere and still asking ... what's next?

Bad Attitude

I recently noticed a Facebook "friend" had unfriended me due to her, obviously, not liking my recent point of view on a current hot topic. Which is interesting because I felt I was being very kind and educational about my opinion. This is someone that rarely made comments on my status updates or liked them, until this topic. I find it amazing what brings people out of hiding and ready to attack someone. Was she waiting for the right moment? Maybe she just needed an excuse to do what she really wanted to do.

I understand that people can feel threatened by another's opinion, as I told another Facebook friend recently: "Many times their truths are on a foundation of quicksand and they fear being sucked into it. It's fear that creates the hate and they don't want to face it. Many times, we only open a different concept and it's unacceptable."

That she did this is not perplexing to me, I had a sixth sense she would. Yet, what is perplexing is that some people may have a different point of view from mine but act as if I am supposed to placate their egos and agree with them all the time. If not they get a bad attitude and unfriend me as it's some sort of slap in the face. The "I'll show her" mentality. It astonishes me that anyone would think everyone should agree with everything. Who does that? Sorry folks, I'm just as entitled to my opinion as another and I will not be an enabler to what I feel is wrong in my heart. I played that overly caring card too long and what did it get me? Nada!

Maybe I've gotten crankier in my old age or maybe I'm less tolerant of what I see going on in the world. However, I will share what I feel is of value to me. If we disagree, so be it, such is life. Yet, if someone wants to develop a bad attitude, because I don't placate their ego, of what I feel is unacceptable, they can feel free to drop off my list anytime, because I can do without fake friends. I can also do without those who cannot or will not discuss issues without being arrogant, vulgar, or disrespectful. I'm open to other's opinions, even if I may eventually still disagree with them, and only because they haven't made their point logical enough for me to accept it.

Make a good point ... not a bad attitude. All that tells me is someone's walking on quicksand.

Boundaries: Drawing and Crossing Lines

I decided to write this blog due to two things. One reason was due to a comment a young lady wrote yesterday about not wanting to watch a video because it might draw bad stuff to her. Yet, after making videos and blogs about this subject, by now we should all know that there are those elements who will take advantage of innocent or ignorant minds, regardless of what you watch. We can be influenced by many things and in many ways. Look at how our movie industry, news, personal videos and social media are influencing our thinking.

The other reason was due to what occured during this morning's meditation. I heard a "discussion" about "allowing fantasies" which I felt I needed to share as well. It made a lot of sense in how it was presented because we seem to be caught up in a lot of self-undoing with fantasies versus realities, as well as authentic versus fake, lately. Many times we've heard: "it's my fantasy (reality or truth) and it should be allowed; I'm not hurting anyone." 

Yet, aren't we hurting another in anything we do or say? Someone reading this could be offended by it, whereas another could be agreeable. 

How far do we take our allowing? How far before some inner knowing tells us enough, I draw the line? Yet, due to our allowing of other's fantasies, we also keep allowing ourselves to cross those invisible lines we draw. After all, we're not doing anything wrong. Or are we? 

Here's guidance's argument about this today. Hang onto your hats. 

They said that each situation in life first becomes acknowledged, possibly rebelled against initially, and then pushed into acceptance with the wearing down of our reserves. We learn to accept, but maybe not completely accept, because we want to be compassionate; not be unkind or uncaring. We want to show acceptance, yet some inner warnings may be asking us how much more do we accept?

They continued with more reasoning. We started dropping our reserves on proper behavior in what we considered right or wrong. It starts out small, chipping away at our principles. Then bigger situations are presented and we do what we can to be accepting. So far, we've allowed a lot of things to influence our minds that was once considered incorrect but is now correct today. 

So, we should ask ourselves this: what next? If all the things we've allowed, to date, are due to allowing others to have their fantasies or truths realized, which are influencing or can hurt others, even if we choose not to watch or partake, creating a flow which can keep pushing at our lines we establish, then yes, what next?

There are people who believe in many things, including mythological beings, that science has debunked based on extensive research (reality) but they still believe it because it's their truth; hanging onto their fantasies as if it's a life line of sorts. We say, well, it's their fantasy and they're not hurting anyone; allow it. Except, their fantasies now sweep over into other's minds and continues to escape their personal boundaries, affecting other's boundaries in order to justify their truths. Do these fantasies make it anymore real? Absolutely not! Can it hurt others? Absolutely!

There's nothing genuine about their fantasies no matter how someone twists the meanings to fit it. With the latest news regarding the LGBT community and the demands to accept their situations, we should ask - what next? Because we all know this is a reality. There's always a what next. Also, please don't whitewash this logic they're presenting as if anyone is being hateful. They, and I, are above this. I have family and friends in the LGBT community. 

That's not their point, however this is their point. If we are to understand and accept the fantasies of some, then why not another's? We are asked to understand and allow that someone's fantasy is an animal or a mythological creature in a human body. We are asked to understand and allow that some feel they are alien hybrids, with no scientific data, but it's their fantasy. We are asked to understand and accept that a femine or masculine energy is corrupting the human form and we should allow their fantasies. Even if this may include serious surgical operations, instead of doing what's necessary to preserve the human form, including the mind, because we need to accept and allow their fantasies. 

Pay attention now. 

Why then are we not understanding and accepting other's fantasies? Who's to say that a rapist, a terrorist, a rioter, a thief, or a murderer aren't into their fantasies? Shouldn't we be allowing their truths as well? You may say ... but, they're hurting others! Again, aren't we all with what we allow, to some degree, with each flow of thought that permeates into our conscious mind? After all, it's their truth. Isn't it? Why aren't we allowing it too? 

Can we really have one without the other?

As the young lady mentioned, about not wanting to watch a video, she felt the thoughts in it would harm her. She doesn't understand that thoughts don't have barriers ... authentic or fake ... fantasy or reality. They can invade the mind to destroy and corrupt, not just aide and abet. Sure, you may say that none of it has caused major catastrophic events, but can we be sure of this? After all, thoughts can hold power and can be manifested into many things. 

Many state that lines are meant to be crossed. Will those be crossed too? You may say no; never! I will never allow those things! It's pure chaos!

Well, where was your line yesterday? 

Where is your line today?

Where will it be tomorrow? 

Warriors Souls

Yesterday, I saw this meme and it reminded me of a dear friend. I met him nearly six years ago, through YouTube, when he was an older teen and suicidal. We spent many hours writing back and forth, and talking on Skype, while I did all I could to help him understand life. We don't communicate as we once did, just every now and then. Sometimes it's only to share or vent.

Of course, that's as it should be because he's stronger today. Even though he knows trials and tribulations are part of life, he handles them much better. His mental and spiritual change has greatly improved with understanding life and being more accepting of his life. The parts he can't or won't accept are understandable and we've problem solved them to help ease the path. He's learn to face his fears and overcome them.

He used to tell me he liked the Rocky movies and songs, so I sent the picture with a comment about me remembering he liked Rocky for inspiration.

He wrote me back telling me: "Beautiful. Thank you very much. I hope I continue being a nice and caring guy to all those close to me, family, friends, and girlfriend. No matter what they do, I must be kind and fight life."

He shared that he's paying it forward, because he's helping his girlfriend with what he's learned. I thought: He's turned into a mature young man and it would have been a loss to society if he had allowed the darkness to take his life.

I wrote back and said: "Whatever you do in life, never give up being a kind and caring person. Be strong too. So many things want to take us down ... a lot of things ... which is what adversities wants. They want to find our weaknesses and keep picking at them to break our defenses. We can't ever allow it to bring us down to their level. They would win and we would lose our warrior status."  ;)

I've told him many times that I felt he had a warrior soul. They seem to have the most adversities and the most battles to overcome. Rocky knows.

Enemy Within: Who Gains From Our Unrest?

With the recent media hubbub of flag stomping, in our country, I wrote this comment (below) on a Facebook friend's status update, recently, and decided to share it on my blog. Call it food for thought ... something to ponder ... but I feel it has validity enough to share and discuss.

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Please pay attention. Who gains from our unrest? Think about it. We are a country united in many ideas and have fought against many who wish to bring us down. Again, who gains from our unrest? Who gains from tearing us apart, even using our contempt of ourselves, whatever inner discord that may be, against us?

Think about this, we have people fleeing their homes to get away from oppression in their countries. Fleeing by the millions to make their home in the United States. Why? Because they know it's better here then where they lived. Do you think our enemies appreciate that? Hell no!

So why wouldn't they seed discontent among the ranks even today? It's the oldest trick in the book. Find people who are unhappy with their life (for whatever reasons) and make their enemy their friend. Entice them to riot. Entice them to lower their standards to use them against us. To divide and conquer. And if anyone is too blind to see that, they are stupidly living in a fantasy of their own making. 

If you want to know why there's discord, look at your real enemy. The one who gains the most from the division within. When you take the delusional blinders off, you'll see that. And they don't give a damn what color skin we have or whatever else we find fault with. They will use whatever they can to take us down.

For you see, those enemies are laughing at our ignorance; those who are unaware of being puppeted by them. It's not just in warfare that we should be alert. Give me a college kid with financial problems or a young adult with a drug problem and watch how fast they can be turned against America. It's called the enemy within and the real enemy knows how to pull those strings, because those strings want to be pulled. 

Get it?

Equality

Below is a Facebook comment I made, regarding equality, racism and a few other current event issues. I thought I'd share it on my blog too. 

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I'm all for equal rights and even stood for ERA when people were saying it would cause gay marriages. I marched in Tallahassee for it with the organization I belonged too. 

When women, who call themselves Feminist, got out of line with destructive behavior, other women had to show that not all were in the same mentality. We showed our gender by teaching and explaining how this mentality would push us back and not forward. 

My ERA March was in the 80's and here it is now that certain equality is being established. Rome wasn't built in a day. People need to earn rights and not think everything should be handed to them on a silver platter or that it should be handed to them at all. Earn it. Just as we all have.

As long as people continually riot and loot to show aggressive behavior, then they will continually be looked down on by me as petulant children and not adults. Not due to the color of their skin but due to their Neanderthal mentality that this is the only way to prove a point. 

You want my attention, like I told my children when they wanted to change my way of thinking, use reasoning and common sense - not temper fits. In other words - talk to the hand.

As far as being separated - yes people due that for many reasons. I'll separate myself from moronic or hateful behavior anytime. I'll separate myself from liars, thieves, rapists, murderers, barbarians, or any number of negative behavior, anytime.

If you have a problem within your home, fix it and stop blaming. When someone is too busy blaming they're wasting precious energy that could be used to fix the problem instead of being more of the problem. My feminine ancestors would be rolling in their grave if I was undoing everything they worked hard on changing. That's how I feel with what I see today, all the undoing that I and others worked so hard on to change.

Are we no more then rams busting each others heads or are we civilized human beings? Stop falling back on our ancestor's issues and stand on our own merits. From what I'm seeing there are issues in every race, organizations and/or governments. No one has Carte Blanche on having it good or easy. 

Am I to be upset over the millions of dollars earned annually by black actors or athletes? No! They earned their right to have it!

Besides, my skin color won't keep me from having cancer and dying no more than another's. How's that for perspective? In fact, let's keep all things in perspective. We're all not racist just because we're white but what do you call a black, Hispanic or Asian who wants to kill all whites? A racist? And that apparently is okay?

If people want justice then argue it on the mentality of intelligence not brawn. We don't live in the stone ages, stop trying to put us back there. Hate only begets more hate. History has shown us this. When will it sink in? 

How can we stop world wars if we can't stop wars within our homes? Yes, inside our homes, where it all starts, because babies aren't born racist from any race. 

Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner: Mental Battles Aren't Over

I've been quiet about Bruce Jenner because I'm a firm believer to each their own as long as they're not hurting anyone. Maybe that hurting part is why I started getting messages from guidance recently. Is he hurting anyone? Maybe his children? Maybe the public image? Maybe someone hurt him?

Anyway, I thought I'd share a few things I've received into my mind the last few days that told me something was amiss about him or what he's publically shared. I will choose to use Bruce only due to what I'm sharing was before his publically "coming out." I know it's lengthy but it's important to include everything I've been "receiving" in order for a proper conclusion to be made. 

I'll begin with one of the first "messages" I received. I'm a people watcher. I've unconsciously read people all my life without understanding what I was doing until I got older. I've sensed things that seemed out of place. I would watch entertainers on TV and sensed things about them; things that maybe they might not want me to know, which is fine by me. It's their life.

Sometimes, I would even sense people hiding their true feelings or maybe they didn't know it themselves. This, in fact, is what started my discussing with guidance about Bruce. It was due to something I mentioned recently to one of daughter's friends. She had mentioned something about it being difficult to make a decision on her coming out. I replied, "Sometimes, you don't have to "come out" because some people intuitively know things. I knew this about you when you were a young kid coming around to hang out with my daughters."

So you see, after sharing that comment, I started receiving certain memories to help me understand Bruce and his coming out. They've shown me many scenarios of others that I know, family and friends, who had feelings that were causing some confused thoughts. Was it possession from their souls, those around them, or both? 

Could this be part of the reason my original soul returned? To help enlighten people so they would understand more? We all have adversities and opposition to what we want. Some fight them and some don't. Some overcome and some succumb. I have seen where someone was straight and went gay and went straight again. I've seen young people emit emotions they're going to be gay when older. I say older only due to feelings they didn't really know themselves - at the time - but I saw it. Just like my daughter's friend I mentioned above. There was another friend they hung around with that was like this too. She did come out later but converted back to straight. So I've seen and felt many things. Life is full of mysteries.  

In fact, one day, a very long time ago, after I was into spirit communication, I noticed a female family member emitting strong signs of being gay when she was older. I told my guide, please help her. This will crush her father. His only daughter. That's when I found out she was being set up. Possesed over hate of her father. I was so angry. How dare anyone do this? To take out their hate of another on an innocent child, like an animal attacking the weak. Of course, back then I thought possession was only in the movies. Not any more. Anyway, long story short, I was told she would grow up without this influence. I've watched her over the years to make sure. She is happily married and with a family she adores. So far so good. I haven't witnessed anything that shows this influence is still around and I know how to. Guidance knows I'll warn her. Thankfully, she's oblivious to my (their) intervention and I pray it stays that way. 

To continue, this leaves me with my Bruce memories that I was recently shown. First, let me back up a few decades ago. People who know me, know I have never been sports minded. I liked baseball, somewhat, and that was about it. That is, until I saw the Olympics or more precisely, Bruce Jenner in the Olympics. This began my like of certain Olympic events. From that point on, I feel I developed a soul connection with him. Many times, in those earlier years of Olympic popularity when he was on TV, or in the news, I watched and listened. Yes, he was married and looked happily content, even though I just discovered he had already expressed his feelings to her. 

So, back to my intuition about things. I must have missed the mark on him because not once did I sense he was having any inner turmoil, at least in those younger years when I was more aware of him. Maybe he was that good at hiding things or maybe there wasn't anything to hide because he felt he could control it. His first wife, Chrystie, said he was still a manly man. Linda, his second wife, also said he was a manly man and she's glad she didn't know in the beginning of their marriage. Obviously, he was that good at hiding this hidden desire. He certainly didn't seemed deprived of his manhood, as he fathered several children during his gender battle. I was even shown visions of him, of my earlier memories, and he was emitting manly man emotions. When did this femine side become stronger? Why did he keep the pretense, keep getting married and keep having children? Was he trying to prove to himself he was a man by doing so?

I asked guidance for universal permission to understand why all these memories were being shown to me. What point were they trying to make? I asked if this was something he wrote before this lifetime? I felt no. I asked if he was influenced by something as a child? I felt there was an influence. I asked if he was in trouble over this memory? They said not truly. Then why would he be troubled now? They said - influences. I asked if it was possession? They said - numerous. Then I felt they were saying it was more of what was going on around him after his popularity. Things in his "feminine soul" (that's what I heard) were used against him. Things went out of control due to many influences around him - physical and non-physical. 

I don't think guidance wanted to call him out for "his truth," but I felt they were saying there was more going on then he was aware or saying. That's normal. Most people don't know about being bombarded by thoughts and where they originate. Most people don't realize they can be set up and to make them think it's their idea. I don't think they wanted to say he was stretching the truth but they were giving me feelings as if to say not all he was saying was their truth. Cover up of a cover up?

I reflected back on all the years I watched him. I looked at pictures when he was younger. I felt nothing. Then they reminded me about the first few times I saw him on his TV show and my feelings of shock. I wondered - what happened to Bruce? In fact, it was such a turn off, I stopped watching the show, but didn't know what was going on. Still didn't pick up he was having gender issues only that he was being a wimp. No big deal. People change. I've seen this numerous times. I lost track of him over the years. He definitely didn't appear as a manly man. He looked whipped. It was obvious something took over him. What pushed him finally over to the feminine edge? Was it his current lifestyle? Was it spirit possession?

Yes, people have desires and fantasies all the time and don't play on them, or play on them but not let them take over them. Unless something pushes them over the edge. So, if Bruce was a such a "manly man," what pushed him over the edge? All I kept feeling was someone took over him. All I kept feeling is that his path would have been different if he hadn't lived in California or hadn't married Kris (that's the name that came into my mind). Did something occur that pushed the final button? Somehow I feel he was not pushing anything away, not fighting adversities, he was overwhelmed by the emotions. He was not wanting to fight them anymore. He fell and didn't want to get up. 

Considering the attacks, I've been through and recorded through videos and books, I can see how this can be so overwhelming. It builds up and can swallow you whole. The one saving grace for me was I knew it wasn't me. I knew it was coming at me from another or others. That knowledge, and my strong determination, helped me to immensely fight back. In fact, I've been told by many people that sharing my awareness has helped them. I can see how my knowledge may have helped in thwarting Bruce's attack. Yes, I will call it that because I was given permission to see his soul trail. He may have succeeded in his original life plan until a full scale mental war helped take him off the path he (she) wrote before incarnating. Many people were blocked from knowing this who may have helped change the outcome. That's how possession works. Even if we feel something is amiss or see something, we may dispute it, because that's how possession works. I can see how Kris rebuked what she obviously knew in her heart, because that's how possession works. 

In the meantime, some say he's a hero for what he's done. In my opinion, I would say a hero/heroine is someone who unselfishly serves another or others in a capacity that is considered sacrificing one's time and effort for the good of many. In that case, even a parent would be a hero/heroine but only to their children, not a nation. However, Bruce Jenner is self motivated for personal reasons and not under what I consider a hero/heroine description. There have been numerous people who have gendered transitioned way before him. Therefore, they should be the forerunner of this life change decision and, if it's an heroic deed, they should get the title as they were the pioneers.

After much reflection, it seems as if Bruce was "chosen" to be Caitlyn. Bruce allowed it due to not knowing more about soul memory or thought invasion. Bruce has died, long live Caitlyn. Bruce's Olympic medals are now in the care of Caitlyn and I hope they keep them in Bruce's name. He earned them, not Caitlyn. 

Let's hope Bruce stays buried and that personality doesn't want to resurface to cause her problems. After all, you can change out a body but all those years of troubled thoughts are deeply programmed within the mind.The only thing about not picking up on these dark troubling emotions is that he could have been blocked from me when they surfaced. I wasn't allowed to know and, again, that suggests possession. On a positive note, I read that Caitlyn will make more money than Bruce did for public speaking. I also read Jenner's financial net worth may more than double over the years. Talk about a twist in gender equality; maybe that was part of the plan as well. 

Such is life. At least, a life of being a puppet to the emotions of many who needed a guinea pig for a role model. I certainly know how that feels. I thank God I know what I know, I feel it greatly protected me. That and my strong determination to fight back adversity. Maybe it would have helped Bruce, if he knew more. Maybe not. All I can add is good luck Caitlyn. I feel, now that you've transitioned, you'll have new thoughts to overcome. You can change your outer appearance but I feel your mental battles aren't over. 

(Image: Getty/Vanity Fair)

Familiar Spirits

Some people will get this right away.

Some people may learn the hard way.

Think of your family and friends and how they were before they crossed over. Think about other's family and friends. Now think of them in the spirit world, still being the same personality they were before they left. Would you feel comfortable with them being around you? Do you know if they are?

I brought this up due to a question I asked my guides once. Why are people, who used to be friendly, now being indifferent or not as sociable? Is it me? Have I said something? Do I need to make amends?

They said: You don't, but there are those who don't want people knowing what they're doing to the minds of the physical. They will subject emotions to move them away because they feel you're a threat to their endeavors. If anyone needs to make amends, they do and not necessarily to you.

Ah, I see. I get it. Thanks.

Keep Calm and Heal Thyself

A long time ago, I learned that it's best if we can do what we can ourselves, especially when it's as important as something like our healing. Working with our medical practitioners is only one source of helping ourselves. I believe, when it comes to healing, we should utilize everything we can.

I also believe that the reason we are disputing so much of our current medical ideology is due to our collective desire to learn self healing. Our medical profession and insurance costs have become overwhelming, making it necessary to explore other areas. Even if these areas have been utilized in the past but pushed aside.

Is self healing an answer to our prayers? I believe it is. I hope this video, on healing meditation techniques, gives you inspiration.

https://youtu.be/rIhcrzUlCxM

In regards to my ethics on this, here's my response to an email I received. 

http://atomaraneadvice.blogspot.com/2013/05/meditation-healing-email-response.html?m=