Teaching Your Children Selfish Love? No?

It's important to teach our children that caring and loving is a two way street. Anything that is constantly one-sided will eventually be rebuked by family or friends; unless one chooses to be subservient to another's wishes. I don't, because I feel that's a selfish love. 

Besides, where has it ever been written that anyone should do anything for another under those conditions?

That's one of the problems with our world today. I see far too many people having their hand out expecting to receive and forget to hold their hand out to show appreciation. When did we learn that this type of behavior is acceptable or that someone should attempt to make another feel guilty because they aren't performing to their wishes? 

How's this for guilt? If your life is so busy that you or your children cannot talk to the grandparents (family/friends), but you want them to be there and be caring, then shame, shame, shame on you! 

Give what you want to receive and teach your children the same!

If you want someone to show your children that they care, then teach your children to respond in kind. Teach them to pick up a phone and show appreciation and be gracious for a gift they've received, so they learn not to expect. Pick up a phone and call a family member, who you want to be there for you, and your children, and just say ... hi, I'm calling to see how you're doing ... and get involved in their life. Teach your children these caring and loving manners and not just to call when it's a special occasion, or that they are expecting something in return. 

If not, then don't expect anything in return, because, after all, you are showing them that love is one-sided by your actions of not teaching them, and yourselves, responsibility, kindness, caring and respect? 

Teach them to show interest in another and not just in themselves. Even a quick text from a busy older child can say: I'm putting "me" aside to show I care for "you" and not only what you can do for me. It could, with any luck, rub off on the parent too. Everyone gains! 

That's why I decided to write this blog, because of the ME generation. I hear this from parents about how they are griping about grandparents, or other family members, that they just want their child to know that these people care and to be there for them. However, what I'm sensing they really mean is: I don't understand why they're not kissing my butt like I feel they should or like they use to do. 

Be there for my child? Show my child you care? My response: what are you teaching your child? Are you teaching them to show support and love too? Maybe the constant me-me demands of "I want" or "I need" is causing the chasm of discontent from those who now feel they are not "giving freely" but being "taken advantage of" because of numerous one-sided wishes, wants, expectations, or demands. 

Furthermore, if anyone finds themselves in a situation about whining over a discontent, over something not going their way, it could be time to stop pointing fingers and look within to see what they, or their child (children), are contributing towards the love and caring that they may be expecting from others. 

If you're not involving yourself in another's life, you have no right to expect anything from them, especially financially, whether that be family or friends. 

If you know anyone like this then do yourself, and them, a favor by sharing this blog and remind them that love and caring is not selfish ... not one-sided ... not all about me, me, woe is me. Take off the blinders. 

Selfish love is bad behavior and not the same as loving oneself ... it's a different set of emotions. I don't know about you, but I don't reward bad attitude or bad behavior.