I've always considered myself a realist, so it's no surprise for me to come to a conclusion, after analysis, that the word unconditional (not limited by conditions) is a word that doesn't make sense. If we look closely enough, everyone or everything has conditions in life.
Conditions (v): have a significant influence on or determine (the manner or outcome of something).
Believe it or not, we can, with our very existence, subconsciously place conditions on the people in our lives: family or friends. These conditions, I feel, creates the ebb and flow of life's relationships.
Even nature has conditions ... think about it.
However, recently I came across the words used in wartime: unconditional surrender.
After contemplating this phrase, I began to realize that maybe the word "unconditional" could make sense; possibly in the hate or control of another. Those two emotions seem to be more rigid than love should be. Or, am I deluding myself? Maybe "unconditional surrender" has hidden conditions too.
To me, love is yielding. It's not unconditional because it understands conditions are there, yet it bends when needed. You may say that's unconditional but I still see many conditions involved in order to learn ... to evolve.
Hate is unyielding. It has conditions and does not bend. It wants that so-called unconditional surrender. In doing so, it can stagnate learning. It's my way or else.
However, there can be "my way or else" in a loving home. A parent may want their children to grow up with the conditions of understanding, discipline and order; teaching siblings to get along with one another to insure a peaceful home. All for the right conditions to create a better person.
That's not a selfish love, because there will still be kindness, rewards of good behavior, as well as other acts of caring that will be shown within the home.
The selfish love or hate has none of these. It is uncaring and unkind. It wants to bully into submission. Those are the conditions that are used to do so.
So, you can see why I've had an issue with the word unconditional. Conditions seem to be in so many things ... all part of survival. Yet, it's the type of conditions, along with who's doing it and why, that holds the most importance.
Maybe instead of unconditional love we should be saying altruistic love. The love that is for the good of all not just the one.
Altruistic? Hmmm ... even that suggests conditions.
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