Dialogue With An Intolerant Mind

Below is a lengthy and, hopefully, an enlightening blog about a conversation with a Facebook "friend" who not only unfriended me but blocked me afterwards. 

What triggered that reaction? In this blog, I will explain what happened and why. 

I felt something might be going on because, as we were "conversing," guidance suggested I copy everything. I'm glad I did as they suggested because it can be used to show how I deal with judgments and release them too. It is also a way of showing hidden intolerance within some people due to their emotional blocks.

What people show on the surface is not always their true self, as we've seen lately with sociopathic, mass murderers like Elliott Rodger; which I wrote about in one of my previous blogs.

 

Anyway, I thought I was being nice. My emotions, during the discussion, were my usual calm self (almost nonexistent), because I didn't want her to think I was being rude towards her comment. To me that's like being rude in someone's home. Because of it, her final reaction took me by surprise. To unfriend was one thing, but to block too? Strange!

I felt this warranted analysis.

 

Lead in to our conversation ....

 

There was a picture of an African clothing pickup location for homeless people, which she shared on Facebook. She also made a comment that more people in the USA should be doing "similar things" for the homeless, as well as having "food locations" such as a Saudi Arabia man, which is also mentioned in the link below. This link has many ideas in helping the homeless ... even from people in the USA.

 

Here is the website. http://www.oddee.com/item_98957.aspx

 

This left me feeling confused at why so critical of the USA which does many, many things for Americans ... as well as other countries. Why such a narrow opinion when many websites extol the virtues of people in this country (even though others like to bash them too)? Websites that are easy to investigate showing the good Americans do ... in all financial levels.

 

To me, intolerance indicates a feeling that no matter what people do it's never good enough. To keep projecting that type of hate or any negativity onto people may create an attitude: why bother?

 

I felt she wasn't thinking things out thoroughly and I only wanted to present a different side to the subject. As I stated above, many people in the USA (and elsewhere) donate their time, give money as well as many other things they are "called" to do ... for many reasons ... and not just for homeless people. I see tons of pictures on mental or medical issues, child, elderly, spousal or pet abuse, sexual trafficking, rape victims, missing people, murder, corporate abuse, medical malpractice, among other things ... with the constant demands of ... help me help them.

 

I'm more concerned that the influx of these things I see on social medias, will have a reverse reaction and start desensitizing people. My empathy senses they may start feeling overwhelmed with the demands of the world problems and emotionally shut down due to it ... for self preservation ... creating the apathy and complacency she included in one of her comment.

 

Below is the conversation that was started due to the comment on her picture. I directed it towards the food part, at first, due to concerns about food poisoning with unprotected locations. I never mentioned leftovers as a food source but that wasn't the only thing she read wrong because I was addressing her accusation of me of being short sighted and fear driven. She must have felt threaten by something I said to use name calling ... making it a personal attack ... which caught me off guard ... leading me to explain more about my life so she would realize I was aware of hardship.

 

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I wrote: Too many people in the US are afraid of getting sued at the drop of a hat. All that collateral damage that makes us all suffer the laws that are made to "protect the innocent" but hinders us from doing worthy things because of stepping on the toes of the ignorant who cannot see the good that was being perpetuated and sue people instead. It sucks!

 

She wrote: I don't buy it. Not for the majority.

 

I wrote: That's why they have places like church charities and corporations like Salvation Army. To reach wider areas with less repercussions. Putting food out for the homeless could be dangerous. There are wackos out there who could and would poison the food. I wouldn't want to take the chance if I was homeless.

 

She wrote: If I was homeless and starving, I would appreciate everything and anything a person would offer to help. I think your ideas are very short sighted and fear driven. I'm sure there are very creative ways to be able to help others, and no one said it had to be leftover food. I think it's a cop out to put it on the shoulders of organizations. Every individual has the opportunity to help others, if they choose to. Many do not, because of apathy and complacency. It's shameful.

 

I wrote: Considering you haven't walked in my shoes I would say your being very judgmental. I have given my time, money as well as other resources to many people over many years. The universe knows the truth in this. I have never attacked you personally as you just did me. Maybe you should ask yourself why that is because it's confusing to me. I've shared my opinion ... that's all. My insight comes from being observing of human life all my life. Am I leery of all human kindness? No, but I'm aware and intuitive enough to know that not all humans can be trusted. That too is based on my life experiences ... based on knowledge and not fear. I have given much to my family financially; hundreds of dollars in financial support as well as emotional support because that's how I am. Charity begins at home too. I'm not complacent or apathetic ... I choose my battles wisely. Maybe many people do because of people being ripped off due to their kindness being exploited. That too is from personal observation. Guilt tripping ... if that's what you're doing ... tends to make people pull away from doing anything. Many are tired of having a hammer to their heads and being called names because they feel they're doing what they can when they can. 

 

Yes, I would probably eat a roach to stay alive or drink bad water. Since neither of us apparently have been homeless, it's actually an assumption what either of us would do. 

 

She wrote: I have been homeless before. I'm not now.

 

I wrote: I was basing that on your comment ... "if I was homeless." I apologize. No one should be. I have been in dire straights. A single mom taking care of an infant and a brother. I have struggled most of my early life in supporting myself. Being from a large family, I grew up with the bare necessities. No luxuries. I've slept on a floor before because of no bedding. I washed dirty diapers in my tub and line dried them because I had no washer or dryer. I've asked for help and had little to none. Back then they didn't have the support, other than churches, as they do today. I've been proposition by men to keep my job ... turning them down and losing them because of it. Things are better then they used to be in many areas but I feel there's still room for improvement ... everywhere. All in time.

 

She wrote: Life can and is very very hard on many. And for many, all we can do is the best with what we have. But there are some who have not known hardship, and some of them could care less what their fellow man is going through. And especially here in the US, where we pay millions to athletes and celebrities, when there are children whose only meal they receive is at school (if they are lucky), and many families living in their cars (if they are lucky). Now, my comment to you was the "fear driven" portion only. You read the whole comment to be directed toward you, and I was addressing those who are apathetic and complacent. It is my opinion it sounds fearful. Your reaction is based on you feeling attacked or disagreed with. And whatever you perceived from my disagreement and observation, has led you to a frenzied overreaction. And that is ok, and I'm glad you shared everything you did. Because where was the help you needed during all those difficult events you lived through? Where was the support? I'm sorry it was so hard for you, as it is for many in this world. I hope life became better? And if it hasn't, I hope tomorrow it will. There is no competition with trying to live. There is only survival. My hope and dream is that no matter how hard life becomes for many of us, that we still can find the ability to help another who is less fortunate than we. (And this has nothing to do with you). This is only my hope, that's all.

 

I wrote: Thanks ... and, please, I don't want you to think it was a "frenzy overreaction." There was never those emotions involved within me ... ever ... just a minimal explanation of my life for perspective. My life was based on perseverance and, in hindsight, having some good luck to help now and then. I don't look back with self pity but appreciation. It is why I do help, and have help, those who are less fortunate ... including all the free stuff I do for those under telekinesis because I know how that feels too. 

 

If you're being homeless helps you to help others, that is admirable and selfless. I know that not everyone can or will. Maybe one day we won't have to feed the homeless because we won't have them anymore. 

 

I am not into sports because of the money involved. I don't feel supporting that insanity. To me it isn't conducive to logical thinking. Yet, I know that many in that, and the entertainment field, are altruistic. I won't begrudge them of what they do only because I'm doing my best not to judge or covet their goods. It's something I've never done ... harbor ill will over another's worth. I find it more productive to be busy building my own or helping others build theirs. 

Thanks again for sharing your feelings ... clearing the air. :)
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And .... after all that, as well as an apology, thanks for sharing, and smiley face, I was deleted as a friend and blocked. What she failed to understand is, without people contributing to corporations, there wouldn't be corporations doing what they do on the larger scale they can provide. That is still people helping people, via them, and we can still help (volunteer) on other individual basis too ... but to what we are called to do ... not always what others think we should be doing.

 

Yes, there are shady corporations and we have to be careful who we give our time and money to. That's why we investigate first ... to the best of our ability.

 

The website (above), with the homeless ideas that she shared, had the picture of the clothes wall which is in Cape Town, Africa. When she mentioned food, it struck me that not all food donated by an individual may be safe based on our food and drug administration laws. A lot of repercussions could occur that could involve individual lawsuits. Look at how fast people sue companies and individuals today? That's the point I was making in the beginning of why people may shy away from doing things individually because of legal ramifications. The USA has a lot of strict laws to protect us from many things due to past errors being made as well as past psychotic people hurting someone or being hurt: street people killing someone or gangs killing street people. Many who understand these complications, and situations, tend to shy away from certain things that have been known to backfire. I can't tell you how many times I've read about people being deliberately poisoned ... including homeless people. 

My initial comment was in regards to my awareness and seeing hers as being short sighted ... to help raise her awareness. 

 

This is why history repeats itself. People don't tend to investigate situations before jumping head into possible trouble. We are not Saudi Arabia or Africa but we do have churches, shelters, and other places that provide for homeless ... including food donated by people. Let's give credit where credit's due. Many people are doing many things ... the US Post Office even had a recent food drive. If that's not people doing things, what is? I felt she wasn't able to grasp that we have a ton of ways that people are helping in the USA. References that even rich people aren't doing enough is completely untrue and unfair. Many people with money do very altruistic things and this too can be found on the Internet. Billions of dollars are contributed every year by the American people to help many causes.

 

Until one knows another's soul, who really knows what triggers something in another. I actually don't feel I was being unreasonable or antagonistic in sharing my knowledge; which were, as I said before, very low key at the time and certainly not a "frenzy overreaction" much less "fear driven."

 

I felt later that it was the "energy" around her that led her to believe otherwise. I know that kind of thing has happened a few times to people I knew. I also felt the fear and frenzy she felt was her own ... projecting her feelings onto me ... due to her experience of being homeless.

After analysis, I realized she had been cold shouldering me since I made a correction comment on one of her many animal pictures. I had been getting feelings about this every time afterwards, when I hit the like button on any of her comments or pictures, that she was avoiding me. I realized, with this occurrence, that she fits the stereotyping of those who can dish it out but cannot take it. 

I asked guidance if it was her or the energy around her that created this. They suggested that it was of no importance who created it. "She's an adult and she allowed it. She chose not to rise above this. People who choose to be activist should be prepared for constructive criticism and not run away at the slightest differences of opinion, especially when done in good taste and with honest intent."

I have no ill will in any of this. Maybe it's because I've developed a thicker skin over the years due to my experiences. Sharing this is only with the intent on how I release judgments for my peace of mind. If it helps someone else, even better.

One must understand tolerance for others if they want tolerance in return. One must understand that the calling for one may not be the same for others. Let your conscience be your guide to whatever you are called to do and then do it. Keep in mind the Golden Rule when doing so and you'll know you're being guided with good intent.

After all is said and done, my greatest wish for her is that she gains the gift of tolerance to help her along her journey and to know that many people may be called in many directions ... not just hers.