Negotiation

To me, negotiation is a stimulating and challenging mental game between the players ... a true sign of intellectual thinking.

There's no need to be angry or violent, while resolving issues, it only shows a sign of immaturity and an unwillingness to compromise. It makes no sense to see two, supposedly mature, people beating their heads together like wild animals.

Negotiation is similar to a battle but a mental one. No physical force need be displayed or blood spilled ... if you're good at it. Negotiating is preparation, laying one's cards on the table, and having a back up plan to resolve any conflicts. It only takes the willingness to communicate between all parties concerned. 

I learned to negotiate when I was younger. I also learned to accept no as an answer too. That taught me to be flexible and that I couldn't always have things my way. Yes, sometimes you just have to suck it up and move on ... wait for a better time. I've also discovered that people tend to listen more if you present a mature and strong point of view while negotiating. Maybe an offer they can't refuse.

Let me share an example.

I wanted to go back to work when my youngest was nine months old. I was stifling in the house. I liked being around people. I had worked off and on since I was thirteen ... I was 24 at this point in time. Besides, there was only so many soap operas one could tolerate. I wanted to live a life but not through the lives of television actors. My husband (now ex) was working and going to school full time and thought it was best to stay at home.

One day, he came home and I decided to negotiate my cause again but using a different tactic ... other then we needed the money. As he entered the house, I said: I'm going back to work. I either go back to work or I kill you and the kids and burn the house down.

I stood there waiting for his reply with a twinkle in my eyes and a smile on my lips. I wouldn't have done any of those things and I felt he knew it. I was using some comedy/drama to show the change I needed.

Smiling back, his reply was almost immediate. He slowly said: well, since you put it that way, you should go back to work.

Negotiation over without a fuss! I started looking for a job and transportation. We only had one car but that didn't deter me.

Sure, maybe I presented an offer he couldn't refuse, or he just placated me, however, in all seriousness, I knew I had to be fair in my expectations. I knew I had to be prepared to compromise ... that's negotiating. Also, my threat was done humorously. Real threats may be met with returned threats. Don't bring that to any negotiating table.

Eventually, time may change any original negotiation agreement. No problem ... just renegotiate. It's allowed. 

Hmmmm .... wouldn't it be great if we had no youthful bickering, no bullying, no corporate backstabbing, no countries warring within or without ... just to name a few emotional "out-of-control" situations ... but only peaceful, mature negotiations? 

Oh well, wishful thinking on my part. Maybe one day.